Turning the wheel…

…..when the blue water plays with the shore to tell something…..

Archive for the ‘Men n Women’ Category

I am Woman-I Created Man (मैं नारी हूँ नर को मैनें ही जन्म दिया!)

Don’t try to criminalize working Mothers!!!

Posted by Rewa Smriti on May 11, 2017

“How can I convince my wife to leave her job to raise our child?”

The above question is asked by somebody in Quora and I liked the response shared by  Shweta Sharma an alumnus of JNV Jojawar. I am quoting her reply below:

Here is how, Don’t!

There is a possibility she might already have considered it, analysed the scenario at her work place and decided against it for some valid reasons. Getting back to workforce is not as easy as sounds. If one of you can get extended leaves, great. If not, try seeking family support if possible. I agree that leaving an infant with nanny does not sound like the perfect solution. But try thinking this from her perspective. Now you have not mentioned what industry she works in, but at some work places the competition is cut throat. I have spend good one year out of the work force and I know the toll it takes on your confidence and skills. Unless she expresses the desire to quit her job for sometime herself, try not making things difficult for her.

I am not a mother yet, but I have seen working mothers very closely. I cant even express the guilt they carry all the time. The guilt for not being a good wife, for not being there when the kid needed them, for not spending every waking second with the kid! Chances are, she is already having post partum depression. It is important to get the support system robust for the time being. I agree that the kid needs much attention, but as selfish as it sounds, you guys were spouses first and parents later. Listen to her. She might have good reasons to continue to work. She might have insecurities about leaving work which she cant voice. In any case, this decision should come from her. Ideally this is something couples discuss before the situation arises. But now that you are already on the field, don’t lose that team spirit. God knows you will need it when the kid will be a teenager. Both of you will have to put in efforts to raise the kid and both of you will have to support each other.

Most of the days, on my way to work I see a woman with her baby. The baby girl is around 6-7 months old. The mum takes the baby with her, drops it in day care and on her way back, gets the baby along. It is such a lovely sight! It helps that it is a happy baby! She keeps all of us engaged, waves around to everyone, blows kisses, keeps giggling. But most of all, the baby and the mum, they just seem so happy to see each other! It just melts our hearts every time we see them. Once I had to change my route and catch the train at the stop where they start. The kid just could not stop kissing her mum, and the mum reciprocated. Of course, the kid cooled down in some time and her attention was shifted to showing her mum all things interesting, like her fingers or the hoarding or a passing train! That is the kind of relationship you want with your kid! Not one where a dissatisfied human being hoovers over the kids’ heads to prove to be a good parent.

Take your time to understand this new situation, give your wife sometime too. Be really careful about this nanny thing, take all steps necessary to ensure the person you are leaving your kid with is reliable.

There is a pearl of wisdom I got from one of my previous managers, “when you will be a parent don’t forget to be a wife. remember he was there first, and he will be around when the kid spreads it’s wings. Never abandon this friendship. Because it is what gives you strength.” Now you don’t need to be a wife, that advice was custom made for me, but rest of it can be true for you.

Well, so here it goes my stand! 🙂

I would say “No”, please don’t. It should be her choice! I would say it should be her decision to work or stay home with the kids, and most important is she ‘must‘ do what will make her most happy, not what ‘should‘ make her happy. You don’t need to convince her for which she is not ready to sacrifice. I have seen mostly women leave their job to sacrifice their career in the name of marriage and child. Though they are highly educated and can stand on their own feet, but they find no option but to give up their careers for the sake of their family. Why should it be only a father who would do a job in order to earn money? Why don’t a man find him worthy enough to take care of his child? Let me tell you honestly, a mother loves her children more than her own life. It is a mother who sees that her children’s needs are fulfilled before her own.  And being a mother she must have thought something and planned well to take such decision. If you convince her that would anyways have a bad effect on your relationship with her. So, you don’t need to convince or force her. Instead convince yourself that it’s her life, her choices, and it’s all about her decision! Respect it!!!

I think, there is a dividing line between ‘CHOICE’ and ‘SACRIFICE’!!! One must understand it. I would like to get answers for same question from all the corners as well. Let me see what others say about it.

Posted in As a Woman, Children's Special, Love n Life, Men n Women, Relationships, Society, Thoughts | 46 Comments »

Three cheers for Arunima ‘Everest’ Sinha!

Posted by Rewa Smriti on May 30, 2013

This article has been sent by Major Surendra Poonia bhaiya, who is an alumnus of JNV and AFMC Pune. Moreover, he is an Indian sportsman, decorated Indian Army officer, motivational speaker, and a doctor. I would like to put his article right here.

Destiny is not always the deciding factor in determining success. It also takes courage, strong sense of self belief and a never give up attitude.

Powered by sheer grit and determination, 25-year-old Arunima Sinha created history at 10.55 am on May 21, 2013, by becoming the first Indian amputee to conquer Mount Everest – the world’s tallest peak – as part of the Eco Everest Expedition from the Tata Group. She took 52 days to reach the summit.

But this achievement takes on a different meaning when one considers the events that transpired two years ago; events that mirror the state of our society where law and order have different meaning depending on one’s class and gender.

On April 12, 2011, Arunima Sinha – a former national volleyball player who lives in Ambedakar Nagar in Uttar Pradesh – was travelling from her town to New Delhi in the general compartment of the Padmavati Express. Her aim was to join the Central Industrial Security Force (CISF). She was planning to go to the Noida office of CISF to get details about the centre for the physical examination scheduled for May 7 and to ensure a correction in her date of birth in the call letter received by her.

Arunima Sinha (AP Photo)

Arunima Sinha (AP Photo)

It was then that her life took an unfortunate turn. Miscreants on the train tried to snatch her chain. When she resisted they threw her out of the train onto the path of an incoming train. Arunima was hit by the passing train and sustained critically injuries. She was hospitalized but on April 18, 2011, she was brought to the All India Institute of Medical Sciences (AIIMS), New Delhi, with serious leg and pelvic injuries. In a bid to save her life, doctors had to amputate her left leg below the knee. She spent four months at AIIMS, where she was provided a prosthetic leg free of cost by a private Delhi-based Indian company.

Her painful story did not end with the amputation of her leg. Her trauma continued in the insensitive manner with which the police investigated the incident. Additional Director General of Government Railway Police (GRP) A.K. Jain had pointed out “holes” in Arunima’s version of the events that led to her amputation. At the time he said: “Investigations have revealed that Arunima’s story had many holes. We have reason to suspect that she suffered the injuries either in an attempt to commit suicide or she met with an accident, but chose to blame it on crime in the railways.”

One can only imagine what might have gone through the mind of a girl who was the victim of a serious crime while also grappling with the agonizing trauma of having a limb amputed. But this is where Arunima showed her indomitable spirit. Refusing to let these horrific events break her, she decided to do something which would be a mighty challenge for even a physically abled person.

While still recovering in hospital she decided she would one day reach the summit of Mount Everest with her prosthetic leg. Overcoming the scars of the accident and defying all odds, Arunima started training at the Tata Steel Adventure Foundation (TSAF) camp in Uttarkashi last year under the guidance of Bachendri Pal, the first Indian woman to conquer Everest. She excelled in the basic mountaineering course from the Nehru Institute of Mountaineering, Uttarkashi. In the run-up to the Everest ascent Arunima successfully scaled the 6,622-meter-high Mount Chhamser Kangri of Ladakh last year, but her ultimate goal was to climb Mount Everest; a goal that evades many mountaineers either due to their own physical limitations or their mental belief in their own capabilities.

Climbing Mount Everest is a not a joke; it is considered a stupendous feat for any individual who even attempts to do so. And doing the same with a prosthetic limb, therefore, makes it a one of a kind achievement.

Arunima reached the summit of Mount Everest on May 21, 2013, and became the first female amputee to do so. Her achievement shows no road is tough for a person with self-belief and determination and this applies to everyone. This teaches us a great lesson in life: one’s will power and determination can do anything. This shows human spirit cannot be subdued.

But this story throws few sad and unanswered questions to all Indians. Like, what happened to the culprits who pushed her from the train? Have they been apprehended? Have they been jailed? What happened to the DIG who passed his own judgement on the incident alleging that she was trying to commit suicide? Why is our cricket crazy nation going all over for ‘Fixed & Sold’ IPL and ignoring such heroic and unparalleled feats by other sports persons?

The entire country should salute Arunima’s achievement, courage, fighting spirit and physical robustness. She has defied all odds and this act of hers will be an inspiration for millions throughout the world. She is the epitome and symbol of raw courage, self belief, determination, optimism and an indomitable human spirit. Arunima is and will be an inspiration and a true role model to all women and younger generation not only in India but around the globe.

Long live courage, fighting spirit and self-belief of mankind. Let us celebrates her victory. Respect and three cheers to Arunima ‘Everest’ Sinha.

हौसला हो बुलंद तो तूफ़ानो में भी चिराग जलते हैं!!!

Hats off to you Lady and Salute your will power!!! You are a one of the real inspiring women on the planet. No words to describe….You have left me speechless! 😯

Thank you Surendra Poonia urf Guru bhai for sharing her story with us.

Posted in As a Woman, Aspiring Attitudes, Guest Posts, India n Me, JNV Alumni, Love n Life, Men n Women, Nation Building, Society | Tagged: | 8 Comments »

I wanted to see him legally hanged!

Posted by Rewa Smriti on March 11, 2013

Delhi gang-rape case: main accused Ram Singh commits suicide in Tihar Jail!

Delhi gang-rape case accused commits ‘suicide’

Ram Singh, the prime accused in the December 16 gang-rape of a 23-year-old girl here, allegedly committed suicide in a high-security cell in Tihar Jail early this morning.

According to prison authorities, the 33-year-old accused hanged himself with the help of his clothes from the grills of his cell in Jail No 3 at around 5 a.m. Courtesy : The Hindu 

Suicidal reasons are usually associated with Guilt feelings or some kind of a torture…  right?  I am surprised! A man who was not even feeling guilty of his brutal crime, has committed  suicide, that too in Tihar jail. How he was able to commit suicide?

Anyway,  I really wanted to see him legally hanged!!!

Posted in As a Woman, Men n Women, Society | Tagged: | 3 Comments »

Brutality lies in the eyes of men!!!

Posted by Rewa Smriti on December 19, 2012

Why women feel guilty and men just don’t care… That is ironical!

In every corner of India, it is absolute jokers who represent our society of onlookers.

Yes, we are a nation of onlookers. We talk big and make revolutionary statements “Enough is enough” but we never take action when it actually is required. We like to talk as it does not cost us anything, but we forget that somebody is paying a hard cost with life and dignity even without doing anything. Nobody thinks about the rape victims, what they go through when they are raped and what impact would be there on their lives after it. We conveniently show our middle finger and go on with true hibernation.  Aren’t we in real sense a nation of onlookers?

Why every time women are blamed of everything, be it clothes or behavior? Why don’t people look at the good values instilled in men, which make them worse than animals. Which society says that clothing controls values so much that a crime like rape becomes right? There is nothing wrong in the clothes that women choose to wear. As it is said – “Beauty lies in the eyes of beholder”, the same way- “Brutality also lies in the eyes of men, which just needs a prey to pounce on!

A tiger never hunts down a tiger, but a deer, which is considerably weak. There is no justification to the statement that women should change themselves or their sense of dressing, even if they do so, in no way it justifies that kids in the age group 2-5 years are also raped whereas nothing is being done to stop the rapist and change the values which says that we cannot change men’s temperament. For a proof of men’s brutality, do see the attached video.

Posted in As a Woman, Feminism, Men n Women, Society, Thoughts, Video Clips | 17 Comments »

An Awakening Call…!

Posted by Rewa Smriti on May 23, 2012

The song is very touching, it makes you feel the pain of women and at the same time it gives women an encouragement and immense valor to face the world. As Shakespeare once said, “the better part of valor is discretion”.  Below is the Rupaiya song from the show Satyamev Jayate, along with the complete lyrics.

Babul pyare sajan sakha re
Suno meri maiyya
Bojh nahi main kisi ke sar ka
Naa majdhar mein naiyya
Patwar banoongi, leharon se ladungi
Arey mujhe kya bechega rupaiya
Ho arey mujhe kya bechega rupaiya

Kal baba ki ungli thaame chali thi
Kal baba ki lathi bhi bann jaaungi
Amma tere gharonde ki chidiya hoon main
Dana lekar hi ghar wapas aaungi

Jiski fitrat mein ghairat samaayi nahi
Jisko daulat se jyada main bhaayi nahi
Aise shaadi ki mujhko zaroorat nahi
Naa kehne ka sunlo muhurat yahi
Akeli chalungi, Kismat se milungi
Arey mujhe kya bechega rupaiya
Ho arey mujhe kya bechega rupaiya
Ho ho ho..
Dil se dil ke taar toh jude nahi
Do rasmon pe daulat ye kaahe bahe
Hum toh pyaar ki khwahish mein rishte bune
Do rishton mein lalach hum kaahe sahe
Kya shaadi ke aage zindagi hi nahi
Jo shaadi hisaabo ki keval hai
Aise saajan ki mujhko zaroorat nahi
Naa kehne ka sunlo muhurat yahi

Subahon si khilungi, Ratiya si bharungi
Arey mujhe kya bechega rupaiya
Ho arey mujhe kya bechega rupaiya
Ho ho ho…

No man is rich enough to buy your free will and dignity. This show is indeed an eye opener for those who in spite of having eyes, do not want to use them and are still struggling to accept the immenseness of women. For centuries, enough time is taken to think of the change, now it is the time to take action and implement it, till it becomes too late.

“Time enough to think of the future when you haven’t any future to think of” ~ George Barnard Shaw

Posted in As a Woman, Feminism, India n Me, Men n Women, Nation Building, Society, Video Clips | Tagged: , | 5 Comments »

सभ्य कौन !?

Posted by Rewa Smriti on April 20, 2012

पुरुष, तेरा पुरुषत्व कहाँ?

पुष्पहार, दिव्य गंध,
श्रेष्ठ आभूषण से लदे
अग्नि परीक्षा लेने वाला
मर्यादा पुरुषोत्तम,
है वो तेरा राम कहाँ?

अस्तित्व को खोता हुआ
तुम्हें खोजती,
धरा गयी है खीज
बोली विवश वह आज
सुन, खड़ा सभ्य अहंकारी
छलका सभ्यता का अहंकार
अगर कह सको?
कहो, तेरा पुरुषत्व कहाँ?

शब्द का श्रृंगार करता
पत्थरों के बीच
उलझा अतित
द्विधाग्रस्त, अचल, मौन
पत्थरों पर अंकित
पुरुषार्थ की कलरव गाने वाला
शंसय के सारे बाँध खोल!

सभ्य कौन यहाँ, पापी कौन?
बोल, धरा का इतिहास!
सम्मुख रक्खे किसका चरित्र?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Posted in As a Woman, Men n Women, Own Hindi Poems | Tagged: | 27 Comments »

Leading the society barefooted!

Posted by Rewa Smriti on February 5, 2012

Sanjit ‘Bunker’ Roy left his privileged, highly-educated family and went to dig wells in the villages of India. He says that he was exposed to the knowledge and most extraordinary skills that the poor possess in the villages only.

Some outstanding points from his talk:

  • Who is professional? “A professional is someone who is a combination of competence, confidence and belief. What to define as a professional? A tradition midwife is a professional. A traditional bone setter is a professional.” Roy explained.
  • If you ask any solar engineer in the world, ‘Can anyone make this in a village?’ They say it’s technically impossible. And if I say a grandmother is making it who is illiterate, he can’t believe it, it’s beyond his comprehension,” says Roy.
  • He says, “Men are un-trainable. Men are restless, men are ambitious, Men are compulsively mobile and men all want a certificate”. Why? Because, “they want to leave the village and go to city looking for a job.
  • And when he talks about the illiterate women, he says, women are much more intelligent than men. These women know more about practical installation, fabrication, repair and maintenance than any paper qualified certified solar engineer after five years study,” Roy said proudly.
  • How to train these illiterate women? His answer is “SIGN” language!
  • “You don’t have to look for solutions from outside,” he urged. “Look for solutions within and listen to people, they have the solution in front you. The all over the world, don’t even worry, don’t listen World Bank, Listen to the people on the ground”.
  • Gandhi coming back to his mind and he ended up with a quotation of Mahatma Gandhi: “First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you and then you win.”

All I can say is that Mr. Bunker Roy gives us the tool to help ourselves. All we need is the determination, clarity and commitment. We can then motivate the common people of the society and change it from a self-centered one to a people-oriented one.

Posted in Aspiring Attitudes, Indian Village, Men n Women, Nation Building, Society, Value Education, Video Clips | Tagged: , | 6 Comments »

The woman…!

Posted by Rewa Smriti on November 20, 2011

This is a guest post sent by Satish, who also belongs to navodaya family. It’s always nice to read a post on women by sensible men!

“God must have made men before women, Its always a drought piece made before the master piece”

Few days ago we celebrated “international women’s week” and finally a 33% reservation is given to women, I am writing this blog neither for my concern with international women’s day nor for reservation success. But for the God’s wonderful creation on earth “THE Woman”.There is another name of women which we know but we still behave as if we don’t know, well I call the other name of women as Love, Sacrifice, Patience, Support, Success, Zeal, inspiration, Care, Kindness, in a word if I say its mere Perfection creature on earth. I know when I say these things my men friends and few girls will probably oppose my notion towards women, but I said these because I enjoyed all these feelings as and when I come across women in my life time till date….. So what’s the necessary to write about women now? It’s too necessary to enlighten many people about the role women plays in each ones life. I have seen a very arrogant attitude towards women from most of men whom I came across my life. Why always women looked in a lower standard than men?? Are we really educated??

A woman is a blessing to this earth. If we consider her significance into the life we would be mesmerized by the versatile characters she plays. She is a daughter, a sister, a wife, a mother, a friend and genuinely a real motivator, an inspiration and strength. A woman is a giver. In every role she plays she is always ready to give. As a daughter she is faithful to her parents and tries to put her parent’s faith o the top of her priorities. As a wife she is just a true devotee of her husband and at every step she helps her husband, supports him and encourages him to work hard. The most beautiful shade of a woman that everybody praises is the woman as a mother. A mother is a backbone for every family and every child. I still remember how my mother supported me in all my failures. How she enjoyed in my success. How much she scarified for me.

When there were 4 sweet pieces and we were 5 my mom was the first one to tell that she don’t like sweets at all.

In every problem we all unknowingly remember our mothers. Mother is a person, who pampers, solicitude, loves, gives, corrects, motivates and helps us without any expectations. I am having very best friend who is a girl, who was behind my failures, who was real motivator, who cried during my bad days, who enjoyed my success, who showered me love and affection, who cared me when I was not feeling well. Women are always great!

I even still agree there is proverb called “Behind every men there is a woman”.

Well, this sentence is more than enough to flatten a woman, well they never tried to go beyond the actual meaning of that sentence, I am sure this sentence might have probably done by a man, there is nothing much to be happy when you hear this sentence;

It says you always be behind a man, never try to go before him, you just support him, make him comfort, help him in his success but you be always behind him!!!!!!!!

India is a society where the male is greatly revered. Therefore women, especially the young girls, get very little respect and standing in this country. Starting from birth, girls do not receive as much care and commitment from their parents and society as a boy would. Only about 39 percent of all women in India actually attend primary schools. There are several reasons why families choose not to educate their daughters. One reason is that parents get nothing in return for educating their daughters. Another reason is that all the females in a household have the responsibility of the housework. So even though education does not financially burden the family, it costs them the time she spends at school when she could be doing chores.

India is a male-dominated country and here women have always been a part of harassment and domination. But still after all the hurdles in their way they have come up with a lighting and bright power in today’s scenario. Women are the powerful entities and they are always being a brave fighter in the battle of life. Women have proved that they are no longer at loss in any of the fields and they are versatile. They do not expect too much in return. Women want just love, respect and care and we can shower the whole life for our loved ones and for our society. It is not just we women want it this way but any human being needs love and respect. Women are indispensible for this earth and for each and every society and family. If god has sent two entities on the world (man and woman) then he must have thought about their uniqueness. No one is complete without the other. Only men alone cannot run this world they need the women at every step of life.  So still you planning for a dowry? Do you still don’t need a baby girl? do you still see women in lower standards ? Do you still dis-respect her?? think on before you comment on some girl !!

“The man who doesn’t respect a woman in his life will never love/respect his mother and his wife”

Posted in Discuss, Feminism, Guest Posts, Men n Women, Society | Tagged: | 48 Comments »

Emotions are one of our avenues to self-understanding!

Posted by Rewa Smriti on October 12, 2011

Recently, I came across a person who passed the statement as quoted;

A person, who understands the whole society as his family and accepts everybody with one eye, ‘has higher sense of emotion’.

The above little statement raises so many questions, psychological questions, philosophical questions, and existential questions even. First and foremost, I would like to ask such person that ‘Do you really understand yourself‘?

A person, who claims to understand a society, may not be a person who really understands the society. In order to understand the society, first it is necessary to understand an individual who is the basic unit, from which the society is built. A person, who doesn’t understand an individual, is it right for him/her to claim that he/she can understand the entire society?

John D. (Jack) Mayer says, “Emotions operate on many levels.  They have a physical aspect as well as a psychological aspect.  Emotions bridge thought, feeling, and action – they operate in every part of a person, they affect many aspects of a person, and the person affects many aspects of the emotions.” I do believe that emotions do not define us, they are a form of inner communication that help us to understand ourselves. “Emotions control our thinking, behavior and actions”!

However, it has left me thinking that a person who doesn’t understand an individual’s emotions, how can be expected from him/her to unravel the entire wave of the society’s sentiments, if he/she is not able to hold on to ‘a single thread of emotion! It is ‘the emotion’ that play a vital role in our lives, and even more so in self improvement, and with emotion, our true power of intention will shine all the way through. Most important, “Emotions are one of our avenues to self-understanding!

I have experienced that mostly such people who claim such thing, on the contrary, have an absolute absence or an unacceptable low degree of emotional quotient!  Some of them also go to the extent of claiming that they are people who perceive the whole society as their family and accept everybody with one eye. I believe, they need to open second eye as well and see themselves more clearly.

Likewise, there are a bunch of intellectuals, so called progressive thinkers who claim to be a Gandhian or yet Gandhi him/herself of the modern era – just by wearing khadi or holding on to a notion that they are Ghandiji re-incarnated. Eh, just can’t see the Gandhi yet! Gandhi perceived wearing white khadi cloths as a sign of peace, love, self esteem and over all, a sense of respect. But does that mean anybody donning a khadi kurta could represent Gandhian ideology?

Furthermore, unfortunately, there is duality in what they think and what they do – rather a mismatch in what they perceive and what they act. Their often repeated mantra is “vashudhaiv kutumbakam” (The whole world is a family), which in actuality becomes nothing but a laughable joke of the life for them.  They ‘do not practice what they preach’. They talk about peace while pointing the gun at others. Such people are dangerous- quite normal from outside, but confused from within. And, these complicated double-faced people may “rub you the wrong way“. I call them “hypocrites”! And moreover, a person cannot escape the label of “hypocrite” by saying he or she is only offering a suggestion to other people. And above all, such hypocrites are not fit to call themselves civilized; they may be from any parts of India or world, I don’t care. Nevertheless, their confined thinking & filthy mind reminds me Agyeyji’s poem which I read in school text book (cbse). I am quoting below as it might fit well here.

साँप !
तुम सभ्य तो हुए नहीं
नगर में बसना
भी तुम्हें नहीं आया।

एक बात पूछूँ–(उत्तर दोगे?)
तब कैसे सीखा डँसना–
विष कहाँ पाया?
~अज्ञेय

Now, the question is – Are they really able to understand the whole society- its composition, intricacies, human bonds??

Absolutely not! One needs to open both the eyes to understand whole society.  I know, nothing can prevent anyone from claiming what he or she is claiming. It’s a free world and anybody can interpret anything they like. Yet, it’s far from easy to understand such people who live their whole lives in a largely illusory world of unquestioned assumptions. I must emphasize that claims are useless until shaped by ‘good intentions’ and followed by equally ‘good actions’!

Excuse me! I repeat, please don’t ever try to impose your fundamental thoughts, rigid expectations and beliefs on others!

Posted in As a Woman, Feminism, Men n Women, Society, Thoughts | Tagged: | 38 Comments »

Bol – Break the silence!

Posted by Rewa Smriti on September 21, 2011

Yesterday night, I watched a nice, thought provoking movie ‘BOL’ which is directed by Shoaib Mansoor.  Like ‘Dor’ and ‘Pinjar’ the story of the movie ‘Bol’ is based on the real life of women which touched my heart and really made me cry. It left me speechless. The story starts with Zainub a young woman who has been sentenced to death. Her last wish is to speak about her life story with the media people and the world just before being sentenced. She tells the media that ‘Main sirf katil hun, gunahgar nahi’ and the story goes  into flashback.

Zainub’s father Hakim (an herbal medicine doctor), wishing for a son ended up with seven daughters one after another. His eighth born is a transgender so he wants to kill the child but his wife does not let him.  Saifi, who is kept in home, grows up tenderly under the love of all his sisters and mother but is disliked by the father! Later, his father Hakim kills him and in order to get away from the murder charges, he bribes the police, using the money that the Masjid Committee has entrusted upon him.

In the flashback, Zainub reveals that she gets married but she soon gets divorced because she refuses to have child due to poor financial conditions.  The eldest daughter in the family, after divorce, returns home, where her mother keeps getting pregnant. She takes her mother to get contraceptive operation done in the absence of her father, in order to prevent repeated pregnancies in future. Hakim while finding out about the surgery, he gets angry, abuses and slaps her. She replies Mard hain na, jahan lajawab huye wahan hath chalne lage. Kash main khuda hoti, main her mard se ek bachcha janwati!

The second daughter, Ayesha forced by her father to marry a man who is quite aged and not of her choice. Her mother objects her father on the age of the person, but he shuts her up. Ayesha is not willing to go with his father’s choice and says to her mother, ‘insan paida kiya hai ammi, dawaiyon ki botalen nahi ki jise chahe de denge, jahan chah rakh denge’.  The mother is helpless. However, Zainub goes to the extent of getting her younger sister married to the boy she loves.

Masjid committee asks Hakim to return the money. Hakim left with no other option, makes a deal with Saqa, a brothel owner, to marry Meena, Saqa’s daughter, for procreation of baby girl. Saqa would  keep the child only if its baby girl.  He agrees on it and marries with Meena. She gives birth to a baby girl but Hakim doesn’t want Saqa to turn the baby into a prostitute , thus he urges her to hand him the baby so he can save her. However, Saqa kicks Hakim out of the house.

The so called religious fundamentalist and the head of family, Hakim always gives the reason that ‘uparwalah will take care of them’. He feels, he knows everything, and he always does is the right thing. Before taking any decision, he blindly opens and plays with the holy book ‘Kuran’ but his each and every step has been a wrong decision for entire family. He believes, and says ‘Halat sudharne ke liye hi to beta chahiye tha’, and on the other hand, Zainub argues ‘hamne to jid nahi ki thee paida hone ke liye’.

 

One night, Meena comes to Hakim’s place to give him her baby. When truth reveals, the fight begins between Hakim and his wife. He beats up his wife when she breaks her silence. Realizing about her father’s mistakes, Zainub asks her father to bring back his second wife to home and she will leave the city with her mother and sisters. And later when Shaqa arrives to take the baby girl, the father tries to kill the baby. While saving the baby’s life she kills her father.

Zainub is the one who dares to speak out- ‘Bol’.  She opposes her father at every juncture. She is being hanged but she leaves people with a few questions. The most pressing question she asks, Maarna hi julm kyun hai, paida karna kyun nahi?‘ She emphasize to think that ‘Jayaj bachche paida karke unki zindagiyan haram kar dena, ye julm kyun nahi hai’? And in the last scenes, especially the one in the end when Zainub screams ‘Jab khila nahi sakte to paida kyun karte ho!?

The entire story highlights the true condition of women, who are often treated as burdens in a male-dominated society. It brings the actual subject that ‘raises questions, challenges the age-old traditionsthat do not provide liberty to woman to right of freedom in choosing life-partner, refusing reproduction, gaining education or working independently. The social status of women in India, Pakistan, and in the neighbour countries is same.

On the whole, ‘Bol’ is a story that ‘dares to bare’ the dilemma of a rigid society’. I strongly believe that you cannot beat a person like Hakim! Nevertheless, such kinds of people are called impossible for a reason and have an endless supply of arguments to support their so called religious fundamentalist thoughts.  Last, but certainly not the least, I feel, these fundamentalists (religious, ethnic, political, ideological, etc.) who hold rigidly to their beliefs, are now afraid and feel ‘lost’ their identity, beliefs and regid practices.

Bol, ke lab azaad hain tere
Bol, yeh thoda waqt bohot hai
Jism-o-zaban ki maut se pehle
Bol, ke sach zinda hai ab tak
Bol, jo kuchh kehna hai keh le
~ Faiz Ahmed Faiz

I thank Avinash for suggesting this movie to me!

Posted in As a Woman, Men n Women, Movies, Religion, Society, Thoughts, Video Clips | 38 Comments »

 
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