Turning the wheel…

…..when the blue water plays with the shore to tell something…..

Archive for the ‘As a Woman’ Category

Bol, ke lab azaad hain tere. Bol, ki jaban ab tak teri hai!

Don’t try to criminalize working Mothers!!!

Posted by Rewa Smriti on May 11, 2017

“How can I convince my wife to leave her job to raise our child?”

The above question is asked by somebody in Quora and I liked the response shared by  Shweta Sharma an alumnus of JNV Jojawar. I am quoting her reply below:

Here is how, Don’t!

There is a possibility she might already have considered it, analysed the scenario at her work place and decided against it for some valid reasons. Getting back to workforce is not as easy as sounds. If one of you can get extended leaves, great. If not, try seeking family support if possible. I agree that leaving an infant with nanny does not sound like the perfect solution. But try thinking this from her perspective. Now you have not mentioned what industry she works in, but at some work places the competition is cut throat. I have spend good one year out of the work force and I know the toll it takes on your confidence and skills. Unless she expresses the desire to quit her job for sometime herself, try not making things difficult for her.

I am not a mother yet, but I have seen working mothers very closely. I cant even express the guilt they carry all the time. The guilt for not being a good wife, for not being there when the kid needed them, for not spending every waking second with the kid! Chances are, she is already having post partum depression. It is important to get the support system robust for the time being. I agree that the kid needs much attention, but as selfish as it sounds, you guys were spouses first and parents later. Listen to her. She might have good reasons to continue to work. She might have insecurities about leaving work which she cant voice. In any case, this decision should come from her. Ideally this is something couples discuss before the situation arises. But now that you are already on the field, don’t lose that team spirit. God knows you will need it when the kid will be a teenager. Both of you will have to put in efforts to raise the kid and both of you will have to support each other.

Most of the days, on my way to work I see a woman with her baby. The baby girl is around 6-7 months old. The mum takes the baby with her, drops it in day care and on her way back, gets the baby along. It is such a lovely sight! It helps that it is a happy baby! She keeps all of us engaged, waves around to everyone, blows kisses, keeps giggling. But most of all, the baby and the mum, they just seem so happy to see each other! It just melts our hearts every time we see them. Once I had to change my route and catch the train at the stop where they start. The kid just could not stop kissing her mum, and the mum reciprocated. Of course, the kid cooled down in some time and her attention was shifted to showing her mum all things interesting, like her fingers or the hoarding or a passing train! That is the kind of relationship you want with your kid! Not one where a dissatisfied human being hoovers over the kids’ heads to prove to be a good parent.

Take your time to understand this new situation, give your wife sometime too. Be really careful about this nanny thing, take all steps necessary to ensure the person you are leaving your kid with is reliable.

There is a pearl of wisdom I got from one of my previous managers, “when you will be a parent don’t forget to be a wife. remember he was there first, and he will be around when the kid spreads it’s wings. Never abandon this friendship. Because it is what gives you strength.” Now you don’t need to be a wife, that advice was custom made for me, but rest of it can be true for you.

Well, so here it goes my stand! 🙂

I would say “No”, please don’t. It should be her choice! I would say it should be her decision to work or stay home with the kids, and most important is she ‘must‘ do what will make her most happy, not what ‘should‘ make her happy. You don’t need to convince her for which she is not ready to sacrifice. I have seen mostly women leave their job to sacrifice their career in the name of marriage and child. Though they are highly educated and can stand on their own feet, but they find no option but to give up their careers for the sake of their family. Why should it be only a father who would do a job in order to earn money? Why don’t a man find him worthy enough to take care of his child? Let me tell you honestly, a mother loves her children more than her own life. It is a mother who sees that her children’s needs are fulfilled before her own.  And being a mother she must have thought something and planned well to take such decision. If you convince her that would anyways have a bad effect on your relationship with her. So, you don’t need to convince or force her. Instead convince yourself that it’s her life, her choices, and it’s all about her decision! Respect it!!!

I think, there is a dividing line between ‘CHOICE’ and ‘SACRIFICE’!!! One must understand it. I would like to get answers for same question from all the corners as well. Let me see what others say about it.

Posted in As a Woman, Children's Special, Love n Life, Men n Women, Relationships, Society, Thoughts | 46 Comments »

Tab Chuppi Todo…

Posted by Rewa Smriti on May 5, 2017

Dear All,

I feel being silent sometimes is the best possible solution or say golden practice at times when an argument is going nowhere. But there are so many women who are suffering in silence. Please understand that remaining silent is not at all a solution of suffering.

I am posting a poem which is written by one of my loving junior Shweta from JNV Katihar, Bihar. The title of her poem “Chuppi Todo” encourages women to raise your voice against the violence.

Posted in As a Woman, Feminism, Society, Video Clips | Tagged: | 6 Comments »

रेवा की धारा…!

Posted by Rewa Smriti on April 22, 2017

I am so lucky and thankful for my best friend Ruchi, who reminded me of writing a poem. I actually forgot that “main likhti bhi hun!?” 😉 She is not only a friend but I am fortunate enough to have her as family. Ruchi, I can’t express how much it means to me to have you in my life.

I haven’t written for a long time so it’s difficult for me to recall my own poem. I am truly blessed with the friends I have in my life. You are an invisible force in my poems.  I wrote this poetry to bring me back to my own tune. 🙂

कुछ को,
किसीके होने का भय
कुछ को,
किसीके ना होने की चाह
इस होने, ना होने के दरमियाँ
बांधों के बंधन को तोड़
अखंड प्रवहिनी,
आती-जाती तूफानों में
लहर की झड़ियाँ लहराती
एकांत में,
कल – कल, छल – छल
अविचल बहती
चल पड़ी वो अपनी राह
सच की बुनियाद गढ़ने!
किंतु अपरिचित इससे
लोभ के थोक व्यापारी
रोक ना पाए रेवा की धारा!

****************

written on: 20.04.2017

Posted in As a Woman, Family n Friends, Feminism, Love n Life, Own Hindi Poems, Relationships | 22 Comments »

I can’t be silent to those who are searching for me…

Posted by Rewa Smriti on September 5, 2015

Dear Friends,

Its been long time since I wrote something on my blog ‘Turning the wheel’. Few of my close friends, brothers and sisters who keep reading the blog called me and told, “aapne bahut dino se kuchh nahi likha hai blog par“.  Akhand, “Di..jab se aap group se gayi hai group dull sa ho gya hai”...Some of them wrote me on FB asking that where are you my ‘universal didi’? Shubham, Ahha…I love this word which gives me an immense feeling of enthusiasm. My friend Borkar bizarre’s peculiar style  where were u madam??’ I liked it. 🙂 Umesh, I am thankful to you as you made me start writing again. Mini, your Mishti wants to meet you! Ashish Sarkar, sorry, I am back mere gulabjamun. 😉 Sudhir Teotia, You are simply awesome who kept the flag flying: ‘Hami Navodaya Hon’. I hope you understand what I mean to say.  Satyajeet, tumhara kuchh khoya tha, mila kya? Tumhare aanshu agar tham gaye hon to aage badhen? 😛

Let me start by recalling something. Today is teachers day so I picked up the phone and wished some of my loving teachers and my dear mother who had dedicated herself to this profession on this occassion. When I speak of my revered teachers I am transported back to my school days where we used to sing this sing this prayer “Lab pe aati hai dua banke tamanna meri. Zindagi shamma ki surat ho khuda ya meri….”

Honestly, I don’t know why but this prayer is coming alive to me since morning and I can’t put it to rest. I believe this is even sung during the morning assembly in various schools in India. It was written by a freedom fighter Dr. Iqbal.

I love all kinds of music but you know some days you just want to hear things you grew up listening to. It soothes the soul, calms the mind and reminds me of lost days. This soulful nasheed has been sung by melodious but a little unheard singer — Siza. And I have started humming it now…I have been sitting at my desk and gathering my thoughts. One question that is not leaving my mind is – what next? I cannot escape myself. There is no escaping, there is no explaining; your voice is unheard and you are silent to those who are searching for you…..

गुमनाम रास्ते,
गुनगुन सी आहट,
फिर साथ में लिए
एक नया अंदाज़,
यूँ ही उड़ती हुई ,
बादलों को छूती हुई,
पास मेरे आती है!

फिर अचानक,
पल भर में,
कहाँ गुम हो गयी??
मेरे कानो को छेड़कर,
वही शोख चंचल,
मीठी सी,
मदहोश करने वाली,
गुनगुनी आवाज़!

————

Posted in As a Woman, Family n Friends, It's Only Words, JNV Memories, Moments with Memories | 4 Comments »

Circumstances!… A very touching poem written by Suhani!!!

Posted by Rewa Smriti on July 30, 2014

This below poem is sent by Vishwas bhaiya. A very touching poem written by Suhani, who is a school going girl and a lovely daughter of Vishwas Saxena bhaiya. Please go through the emotions projected and exempt her from grammar—reading this I have some questions for existing education system . A consideration is needed. Anyway read the tender emotions of a fairy and feel her agony!

 

Circumstances

Every good thing comes to an end!
That is true when my grandmother become sick
And to cure her there was no trick.

Some say organ failure,
Some say paralysis
But we don’t know what the exact crisis

When we were fighting tooth and nail
They told me you school fees was going in vain

When I took leave to curb her loneliness
They said me your attendance was less
Yet they gave me speech topic “old age or
Loneliness who was responsible”
I think its school!!!!!!

When my brother was sacrificing his boards,
My mother ignoring her lectures which she never did
And my father who thrashed the government rules
Came from country far off
Just see her well of
That time their attitude showed off.

When I get myself medicine trained
They told you can be detained!

When I was stealing time to sleep
They told wake up this is not time to creep.

But in the mean time she was sinking and
Your homework is not complete they were shrieking.

When told the reason they said this
Excuse for this season.

She is their but quiet what
To do I cried
I took her my priority
Goons of school shed their superiority.

Than come my final exams
Sitting in intensive care unit
I am finishing mu maths unit
Eight days passed their
She came home as she is here

I passed my exams with self satisfactory Marks
And on myself they leave no scars

Now they threat me this is boards
When we are fighting with black society crowds.
Who can consider daughter but not daughter in law
And for this there is no law.

Than they ordered to take a game
And at home we are playing game of blame

She had big! Big! bed sours
On which everyday compounders knife and sizzer throws
And she and we use to roar.

In this calamity of
Howling of society…………..
Trespassed rules……………..
And chasing a college………
We don’t have time to curb our fatigued
They told these chapters you have to read.

Now came a deadly day
When her hemoglobin come to
Three
And doctor advised for blood transplant
My mother did it for her.

Pure blood matched legendary blood!
But alas! The organ fails
And from the world she sails
She departed and we parted!!

Now I say that in student’s life
There are some circumstances
Which led to odd instances

So kindly be kind to them
Otherwise you can face the same.


Written by Srijna Saxena (Suhani)

Posted in As a Woman, Children's Special, Family n Friends, Guest Posts, Nation Building, Society, Thoughts, Value Education | 1 Comment »

Happy Wedding Anniversary…!!!

Posted by Rewa Smriti on May 13, 2014

It’s not always that you want to introduce somebody out of your very personal contacts, but I somehow feel that this person needs special mention and I take this pleasure to introduce one of my very dear friends. As her being different from other lot of friends, I will announce her name also differently. The contrast is very sharp when I think about her personality – she is straightforward yet knows how to put across things without hurting somebody’s feelings, however, this is surely the result of her 1 year of companionship; she is enthusiastic and a glue which sticks people together; she might not agree with you and fight for her point and you feel that there is no way this person will help you but yet she would be the first person standing by your side whenever you need her.

I know her for more than 7 years now. She is just a crazy and trigger-happy. She is a friend who makes others feel welcome, and always seem to enjoy doing so. She is always willing to lend a hand and to reach out to someone who is in trouble. She always shared good time and fun with her friends.  She never wanted to get married. And then the day came when we received:

shab1

And this is where you come in Subirda! 🙂

Thanking the universe for this choice you both made and finally decided to get married. Turns out, you made a lot of fond memories in a year. You can relive them all over again. If you look back to the year and see your wedding day as a fantastic bon voyage, that shows how much you are in love with each other and that’s the way it should be. Wedding day was “The Beginning” and anniversary day is just “The Continuation” of the happy journey you are going to lead throughout your life.

I appreciate how you both have tremendous skills of emotional intelligence, empathy, compassion, love, and grace!

May God continue to bless your marriage, and may you enjoy your celebration today on May 13th, and have another exciting episode throughout this Golden Year. You are always the perfect host, not because everything you serve is perfect or the house is perfect but because your guests feel loved and welcomed.

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I would like to tell you that when someone says something that hurts you, think, “This is MY life!”And when somebody tries to interfere in your life by anyway, think, “This is MY life.” And If somebody tries to influence your decisions, think, “This is MY life” and throw them all in the dustbin !!!

And at last, an Extraordinary remark for you Subirda, you know very well “how and when to tune up your car and Get that tune out of her head!” 🙂 😉 😛

Thank you both for being there for me always…!!!

Happy Wedding Anniversary Once Again…!!! 🙂 🙂

Posted in As a Woman, Family n Friends, It's Only Words, Love n Life, Relationships | 5 Comments »

Feeling of…

Posted by Rewa Smriti on March 29, 2014

तस्वीर तेरे दिल की कुछ बोलती नही किसीसे!
फिर किसी की नज़र क्यूँ टिकी पड़ी है तुझपे!!

वो गिर गये हैं अपनी नज़र से, तुझे गिराने में!
झुक गयी है नज़र उनकी, तेरी ज़िंदगी आज़माने में!! 🙂

Posted in As a Woman, Family n Friends, Feminism, Own Hindi Poems | 3 Comments »

The waves of my tunes…

Posted by Rewa Smriti on December 29, 2013

Sitting on the shore,

Talking to the waves,

One after another,

The tides rush over me,

Wash my feet,

Play with the tips of my toes.

The waves of my tunes,

Taken out of my soul,

The rushing waves that say,

I would like to rewind the time,

To the moments where I want you,

Again, on same pitch,

On the same track,

That remains the same as before!

A silent tear rolls down….

Posted in As a Woman, Own English Poems, Thoughts | Tagged: , , | 3 Comments »

कौन हूँ मैं…

Posted by Rewa Smriti on October 31, 2013

This is a guest post sent by one of my dear junior Shweta Singh. I am sorry dear for taking time to post it here.

अगर रख सको तो एक निशानी हूँ मैं,

खो दो तो सिर्फ एक कहानी हूँ मैं ,

रोक पाए न जिसको ये सारी दुनिया,

वो एक बूँद आँख का पानी हूँ मैं…..

सबको प्यार देने की आदत है हमें,

अपनी अलग पहचान बनाने की आदत है हमे,

कितना भी गहरा जख्म दे कोई,

उतना ही ज्यादा मुस्कराने की आदत है हमें…

इस अजनबी दुनिया में अकेला ख्वाब हूँ मैं,

सवालो से खफा छोटा सा जवाब हूँ मैं,

जो समझ न सके मुझे, उनके लिए “कौन?”

जो समझ गए, उनके लिए खुली किताब हूँ मैं,

आँख से देखोगे तो खुश पाओगे,

दिल से पूछोगे तो दर्द का सैलाब हूँ मैं…

अगर रख सको तो निशानी,

खो दो तो सिर्फ एक कहानी हूँ!!!

——————————

Posted in As a Woman, Guest Posts, Society, Thoughts | Tagged: | 3 Comments »

राह पकड़ तू एक चला चल…

Posted by Rewa Smriti on July 10, 2013

Sometimes, a few words can speak volumes!

Rah pakar tu.palash

Posted in As a Woman, Family n Friends, It's Only Words, Love n Life, Relationships, Thoughts | Tagged: , , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

 
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