Turning the wheel…

…..when the blue water plays with the shore to tell something…..

My right might be your wrong, if I revolt, will you call me a rebellious?

Posted by Rewa Smriti on July 21, 2017

I came across this statement: “Independent women today have no patience”. Though there is nothing new in it, but the surprising part is that this was given by a woman to my friend”s husband. This mentality in today’s world, I really feel very sorry for her.

I don’t know if she has a declaration of Independence “signed” by somebody (may be her husband)! Think seriously!! Do we actually need somebody to define that we are free? I somehow felt that she was defending herself in the name of dignity. Does she really have dignity? Or, she has a concern that independent women are capable of raising their voice or to deal with the ego which some men have?

She must understand that a real and right relationship, It will only make you feel more like yourself, MORE PATIENCE, more independent and more certain of who you are! Strong, independent women have the ability to let mistakes roll off their backs and to learn from their bad choices patiently. And being Independent myself, I personally do not need anybody to declare that I am an “Independent and free.” Some say, “free will” is an illusion at best; I thoroughly disagree!

Some advice-givers would like to take the role of ‘more knowledgeable person’ in the society. I fail to understand the mentality of these so called ‘progressive thinkers’ who have absolutely no idea what the world is beyond the doors of their air-conditioned walls? It does not matter whether you are in New Delhi or New York, if your thinking does not change!

A woman, who uses her own mind to take any decision, is viewed as being wrong. I know, mostly girls are raised with one single goal and that is to get married and stay married, no matter what! No education teaches that, in fact independence is something which can be considered as the biggest gift of “Education” to women. If patience means to bear atrocities, then it is better that independent women do not have it. However, I read an old saying somewhere “patience is virtue”, I did not know that the virtue means bearing atrocities, tolerating wrong doings, getting humiliated, yet giving respect to all.  😆

Moreover, Few women got happiness does not mean everybody is leading the same good life, but ask yourself, by making unnecessary adjustments, are you really happy? It’s very easy to interfere in others life and comment on something like this. Open your eyes and look around there are many women keeping “Patience” and getting killed or committing suicide at the end. Now tell me… how would you describe patience???????

Always give it a thought – how many women around you are really happy? At least independent women have choice. What choice do house hold ladies have, if they are keeping the “above mentioned” patience, they also have to think about being “Independent” to take care of themselves and their children at some stage. (I do respect all home makers and I am grateful for their contribution, but if they smile, it does not mean they are happy!)

Find below few stories of “patience” … You will come to know the limit of patience in an independent woman. I still could not believe she is not there anymore Ruchi we will miss you... There are many such women we have lost. I don’t know how to act or react on this. However, I wouldn’t call it an act of cowardice; it takes courage to end your own life!

To quote another example- my own friend,though she was a working woman, got beaten on many occasions, still kept patience and waited that everything will be alright, but faced the same fate, got divorced recently and taking care of her only child. Yea, there is a plus point that she received full support from her parents. It’s not the question of being independent or dependent, when it comes to patience, every woman is almost the same.

Sometimes even her own parents do not support her because of the society. Another of my acquaintance went to the extent of committing suicide because of patience as her own parents did not support her. The point to be noted here that she was shattered but her parents chose to be with society, instead of supporting her and kept telling her that everything will be alright. Result?… she is no more now.

If you want more examples – just Google it!!! 🙂

If society had been so generous, women wouldn’t have to leave their house and children to be independent. Widen your horizon before commenting on anything. The world is not restricted to your surroundings only.

No matter our situation or status we all always have choices. How we make our choices obviously differs from person to person, but the option to choose is within everyone. I firmly believe we create our own reality, the choices we make in life provide us with our experience.


13 Responses to “My right might be your wrong, if I revolt, will you call me a rebellious?”

  1. Abhilesh said

    Gud one dii

  2. Renuka singh said

    Very nice.. I think that.. A women is always powerful.. Uspr tb tk koi aadhikar nhi jma skta jb wo apna aadhikaar khud n de.. Jis din wo.apna aadhikar dusre ko thma deti us din se dusre log uspr dominant krne lgte h.. Aur yhi se.. Start hota hai.. Women ko nicha dekhana.. So women empowerment is very need in society..Di.. Ur article is a good step towards society; to open the eyes of this man society..👌


    • BHAWANA Bharti said

      We should have patience for good things only…as for valuable relationship,for success as there is no shortcut for winning upon tthese.A sensible person always follow this things, does not matter they are dependent or independent.nevertheless who have patience for tolerating violence and stay in pitiable condition, I have great sympathy for tthem.

  3. its a wonderful post Rewa..and the sad part is majority of women has to face all these with so called patience and in the old saying ..जो सहा वो लहा ..means if you will patiently face atrocities you will get gratitude in your family after marriage . Many are facing it ..few are ready to move and very few are taking it as an opportunity to hold clutch on their depending members ..I mean rare of the rarest and the saddest part is you will be judged on the third catagory ..
    Thanks for thought provoking post .
    Keep the spirit up

    • BHAWANA Bharti said

      Very nice article di…

    • Very true Tulika. I think violence ( physical, sexual and mental any kind) against women is a universal problem. I would request every woman not to tolerate any violence and if a woman has patience to tolerate the violence, she even has strength to fight against it. If anyone among us is undergoing such violent, we must come forward to raise our voice. I personally support all such women who raises their voice. Be the change you want to see!!!

  4. Sukirti said

    Dear Di, I totally agree with you on this. What is Independence ?? It has different meaning for everyone, but if you bring all of them together then it sums up to your strong will of being yourself no matter what’s the situation/ circumstances you are in. I might sound like a feminist but please make a note that i am not. I am open to understand a men’s perspective thanks to some of the very good friends of mine. I work in an MNC (75% workforce is men and the rest woman), everyday i come across male colleagues of mine and hear what is there idea of a life partner. All of them want an independent woman in their, to which i asked them what is it that they mean by being independent. Does it have to be a working woman earning and contributing towards family financial needs and all. To which he said ” No, that is not the case. See we men find it really amazing and appreciative how you girls manage everything. At the work front you perform equally like we do, sometimes even more. You leave your family and adapt ours, you take care of your parents/ family, our family and kids, and if its a joint family, then the add-ons as well, but what we expect is that you shouldn’t loose your individuality. Because the moment you let go of that you become the other person who seems so weak. Financially independent is just like a cherry on top of cake, as a life partner i need my woman to be able to help me take right decision, she should have that understanding, she should not come to me and ask for should i do this or that. When i married her i don’t want her to feel prisoned, ” So ladies, i might be very younger than you all, but this statement by my friend was an eye-opener for me. Single or married, we are known for the person we are, not by my partner’s name, and the world has progressed so much that now your husbands and getting designated like ” Ohh, so you’re the lucky guy of this tremendous woman”. The world has changed so we need to change as well, if we keep on waiting permission in this time, we will be left behind. And about being said that we are not patient enough, ohh come on look around you, we wake up everyday , wrap up all the daily chores ( includes: cooking breakfast, decide what should we pack for the kids lunch, what should we pack for the lunch for myself and my husband, so and so colleague once mentioned that they like this dish so shall i prepare that, take care of the elders in the family, and many sort of work), when we reach office, there is this grumpy boss of ours standing right infront, shouting like hell, now let me tell you this if independent woman were not patient enough, 90% of the managers in this country might be in jail for harassment cases, and then in evening come home and the same routine as morning only the meal menu changes ( now none of this would have been possible to be pulled off without a correct life partner, so please be a little bit appreciative towards your man 😀 and be wise while selecting your partner) . Some of us might not even get a chance to sleep for the minimum of 6 hours. So yes even after all this if we are waking and behaving like a sane person then mind it that we are very much “PATIENT”.

    And if this was not enough of patience then kindly let us what the exact meaning of patience is to you.

    • Sukirti said

      There are some typo and missing words.. Please pardon i was typing in hurry. 😜

    • Very well Said Mini!!! In fact 90% of men might be in jail whether they are professional or non-professional! 🙂

      I liked your comment very much, In fact it’s better than the original post. I am going to share it on FB. Love you.

  5. Chanchala said

    Very nice article di. Acc to me women ki sabse bari galti h vo apne khushi ki wajah kisi ar ko bana leti h and the man who would be the cause of her happiness will become the only and only cause of her tears.so it’s my request to all women jst love 1st urself and try to be happy for her own cause.

    • Bilkul sahi Chanchala! Maximum woman yahi sochti hai “aapki khushi ke aage hai sab kuch Qubool…!!!” Aur jab aankh khulti hai to pata chalta hai ki unki apni koi wajood hi nahi hai. Isliye apni wajood kabhi nahi khoni chahiye.

  6. dr vishwas saxena said

    First of all it is very unfortunate that question of women independence is existing even today—-every women has full right to be independent,for independence and speak independently. PATIENCE should not be linked with remaining dumb or mum.In fact patience is gauged by many actions including expression. The type of savvies talked about in article who lived silently were also not erratic.In fact it was their selection as they felt let’s sacrifice some freedom to make a family—-they were not coward at all—they were epitome of those attributes by which the Indian savvy is venerated even today.Now with changing times when world depends heavily upon contribution of women the woman has to come ahead and speak. If she is doing so then it should not be not thought that she is impatient.On contrary it must be thought that how long she waited silently. I appreciate the article for its direct attack on the clutches which subvert the manifestation of any brave woman.Good job Rewa—- take such initiatives and create a world where women has not to worry about her actions.Blessings

    • Well said Bhaiya!

      Thanks a lot for your kind appreciation and encouragement. And the strange part is that women are expected to stay quiet and face such circumstances with patience and those who achieve that are considered great. This seemed highly unfair.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: