Turning the wheel…

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Don’t try to criminalize working Mothers!!!

Posted by Rewa Smriti on May 11, 2017

“How can I convince my wife to leave her job to raise our child?”

The above question is asked by somebody in Quora and I liked the response shared by  Shweta Sharma an alumnus of JNV Jojawar. I am quoting her reply below:

Here is how, Don’t!

There is a possibility she might already have considered it, analysed the scenario at her work place and decided against it for some valid reasons. Getting back to workforce is not as easy as sounds. If one of you can get extended leaves, great. If not, try seeking family support if possible. I agree that leaving an infant with nanny does not sound like the perfect solution. But try thinking this from her perspective. Now you have not mentioned what industry she works in, but at some work places the competition is cut throat. I have spend good one year out of the work force and I know the toll it takes on your confidence and skills. Unless she expresses the desire to quit her job for sometime herself, try not making things difficult for her.

I am not a mother yet, but I have seen working mothers very closely. I cant even express the guilt they carry all the time. The guilt for not being a good wife, for not being there when the kid needed them, for not spending every waking second with the kid! Chances are, she is already having post partum depression. It is important to get the support system robust for the time being. I agree that the kid needs much attention, but as selfish as it sounds, you guys were spouses first and parents later. Listen to her. She might have good reasons to continue to work. She might have insecurities about leaving work which she cant voice. In any case, this decision should come from her. Ideally this is something couples discuss before the situation arises. But now that you are already on the field, don’t lose that team spirit. God knows you will need it when the kid will be a teenager. Both of you will have to put in efforts to raise the kid and both of you will have to support each other.

Most of the days, on my way to work I see a woman with her baby. The baby girl is around 6-7 months old. The mum takes the baby with her, drops it in day care and on her way back, gets the baby along. It is such a lovely sight! It helps that it is a happy baby! She keeps all of us engaged, waves around to everyone, blows kisses, keeps giggling. But most of all, the baby and the mum, they just seem so happy to see each other! It just melts our hearts every time we see them. Once I had to change my route and catch the train at the stop where they start. The kid just could not stop kissing her mum, and the mum reciprocated. Of course, the kid cooled down in some time and her attention was shifted to showing her mum all things interesting, like her fingers or the hoarding or a passing train! That is the kind of relationship you want with your kid! Not one where a dissatisfied human being hoovers over the kids’ heads to prove to be a good parent.

Take your time to understand this new situation, give your wife sometime too. Be really careful about this nanny thing, take all steps necessary to ensure the person you are leaving your kid with is reliable.

There is a pearl of wisdom I got from one of my previous managers, “when you will be a parent don’t forget to be a wife. remember he was there first, and he will be around when the kid spreads it’s wings. Never abandon this friendship. Because it is what gives you strength.” Now you don’t need to be a wife, that advice was custom made for me, but rest of it can be true for you.

Well, so here it goes my stand! 🙂

I would say “No”, please don’t. It should be her choice! I would say it should be her decision to work or stay home with the kids, and most important is she ‘must‘ do what will make her most happy, not what ‘should‘ make her happy. You don’t need to convince her for which she is not ready to sacrifice. I have seen mostly women leave their job to sacrifice their career in the name of marriage and child. Though they are highly educated and can stand on their own feet, but they find no option but to give up their careers for the sake of their family. Why should it be only a father who would do a job in order to earn money? Why don’t a man find him worthy enough to take care of his child? Let me tell you honestly, a mother loves her children more than her own life. It is a mother who sees that her children’s needs are fulfilled before her own.  And being a mother she must have thought something and planned well to take such decision. If you convince her that would anyways have a bad effect on your relationship with her. So, you don’t need to convince or force her. Instead convince yourself that it’s her life, her choices, and it’s all about her decision! Respect it!!!

I think, there is a dividing line between ‘CHOICE’ and ‘SACRIFICE’!!! One must understand it. I would like to get answers for same question from all the corners as well. Let me see what others say about it.

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46 Responses to “Don’t try to criminalize working Mothers!!!”

  1. It’s just lovely to see how she explained everything.. in a way which takes into account everyone’s each role and different relationships… It’s beautiful and still strongly made a point. Choice and Sacrifice.. I agree. It’s high time that husbands/fathers understand this and help their ‘life partners’ to get rid of the guilt, and to love and live their lives as parents, as persons and as professionals. Thank you for sharing this. It warmed up my heart.. ❤ For it is not too far when I'll be caught up in same situation. Yeah, team spirit. 🙂

  2. pratibha said

    No need to sacrifice their career in the name of marriage and child if they are highly educated and can stand on their own feet & don’t give up their careers for the sake of their family.
    Both will have to put in efforts to raise the kid and both will have to support each other. Choose always choice not sacrifice.

  3. I can completely relate to this situation, and sometimes I also heard it – as ” why didn’t you continued job at the time of pregnancy or after that?”
    Why is it so necessary to join job now when our son is about 2 years?
    So my answer is, IT’S MY CHOICE. I decided to quit job since had some complications during pregnancy and after delivery it was my choice to not join any job, because I want to give all my focus my love my care to my son, since h was my Priority that time. Now I know he can manage little things on his own and moreover my parents are also there to help him with this, so I decided to go ahead and join a job.

    It’s always about “Choice of a women” and in order to let our husband and parents understand this, initially we should take the decision on our own and able to implement that in a very strong manner. You can keep others happy only if you are living happily, so firstly stand for yourself and then everyone else will realise and understand their responsibility to give support.

    Live life by choice 😃
    Divya

  4. Renuka said

    I am really impressed with the line “there is a dividing line between ‘CHOICE’ and ‘SACRIFICE’!!!” and strongly support it. Raising children is not an easy job and a child needs mother the most, but the point is, A mother knows better, how to handle these situations, and every mother is putting their best, she must be struggling with her job and baby both, supporting her might help, take help from family members, relatives, one of my friend is mother of just 6 months old child, her mother in law is supporting her, she used to miss her child badly in office hours, she talks about baby all the time, all mothers want to give their most of the time to children but due to some work priorities she has to continue her job. Forcing a mother to quit her job, dream, competition, career coz she is mother of a child is again a nightmare for her, think about it. Living like Aimlessly coz i am mother of a child, I DO NOT agree to the point of forcing her to leave her job. She needs your support, wants to hear some other good options from you.

  5. Shubham said

    After reading this article, i felt how a women sacrifices her career for her baby and its very sad that husband and father refuse to understand her feeling. A women who was always independent ,now she has to be dependent on her husband earning because she became a mother n she has to quit job and leter she has to fight for rebuilt her career in order to get better standard of living.there is no empowerment for a women once she quit job ,although she sacrifices for husband n family but no one want to understand what exactly she expect from family n career.

  6. Absolutely agree with this. But if someone (Husband) wants her wife not to work then he should assure she gets all kind of supports from him and his family. Better arrange work from home job so that she can be at par with the market ongoing requirements and job demands.

  7. Akhand Pratap said

    बच्चे की परवरिस को लेकर माँ को यदि कोई और व्यक्ति अपनी राय देना चाहे तो कई मामलो में उचित नही होगा ।।
    क्योंकि एक माँ से बेहतर अपने बच्चे के बारे में कोई और नही सोच सकता।। हालाँकि ऐसा नही है कि उसका पिता इस बारे में नही सोचता लेकिन माँ तो माँ होती है ।।
    मेरे विचार से यदि कोई माँ नौकरी के साथ अपने बच्चे का पालन पोषण करना चाहती है तो उसने अपने बच्चे की परवरिस और उसकी जरूरतों के हर पहलू के बारे में सोचकर ही यह निर्णय लिया होगा ।।
    किसी भी माँ के लिए यह आसान नही होगा कि वह अपने नवजात बच्चे को किसी नैनी या आया के भरोसे छोड़कर काम पर जाए ।।
    लेकिन बच्चे की जरूरत और भविष्य को वह अभी से सोचना चालू करती है इसीलिए वह ऐसा कदम उठाती है जो ही कई लोगों की नज़रों में गलत हो सकता है लेकिन माँ अपने बच्चे की परवरिस के लिए किसी और की सोच को मायने नही देती ।।

    एक स्त्री मां होने के साथ साथ एक पत्नी, एक बहु बनकर रहती है।।
    पति को अपनी पत्नी की भावनाओ का सम्मान करते हुए उसे स्वयं निर्णय लेने के लिए प्रोत्साहित करना चाहिए न कि उसपर अपने निर्णय को थोपना चाहिए ।।
    जैसा कि पोस्ट में स्वेता जी ने कहा ,”पति पत्नी मित्र बनकर रहे तो बेहतर संबंध रहेंगे ।”
    और बच्चे की परवरिस में भी मित्रों की तरह ही निर्णय ले तो सारी समस्याओं का हल निकाला जा सकता है ।।
    और अंततः ये तो सार्वभौमिक सत्य है कि मां से बढ़कर अपने बच्चे को कोई नही समझ सकता ।।

  8. Akhand Pratap said

    कुछे बातें कहना भूल गया तो फिर से आने वाउचर लिख रहा हूँ ।
    मैंने मुश्किल से 2 साल की उम्र में अपने पिता को खो दिया । हम कुल 4 भाई बहन थे। परिवार के लोग चाहते थे मां के साथ साथ हम सब लोग सड़क पर आ जाएं ।
    लेकिन माँ तो माँ थी । नही मानी , ज़िद पे अड़ी रही । अपने स्वार्थ के लिए नही केवल अपने बच्चों की परवरिश की लिए । परिवार वालो ने मां को नौकरी नही करने दी ताकि हम सब बेहतर परवरिस न पाने लगे ।
    इन सब बातों को आप सबके साथ इसलिए साझा कर रहा हूँ क्योंकि मैंने जब से होश संभाला है तब से जनता हूँ कि 100 में से केवल 10 ही ऐसी फैमिली होती है जो अपनी बहुओं को इस मामले में सपोर्ट करें वरना 90 नही करती । और उन 90 फैमिलीज़ में मेरी भी एक थी । तो खुद से ज्यादा मैने अपनी माँ को जाना है के उन्होंने कितने त्याग किये है अपनी खुशियों से ज्यादा हम लोगों की खुशियों को ज्यादा महत्व दिया है ।
    फैमिली सपोर्ट न मिलने पे मां के सामने केवल और केवल नौकरी ही विकल्प होता है अपने बच्चे को वो सब देने का जो उसने कभी सोचा था के वो अपने बच्चे को देगी ।

    माफी चाहूंगा, कई लोगों को मेरी पोस्ट में मेरे विचार कटु प्रतीत हो सकते है । किन्तु सत्य सदैव कड़वा होता है । मैंने जीवन के ज्यादा अनुभव स्वयं नही लिए है बल्कि मैंने उन्हें ऐसी कई माँओं से सीखा है जो मेंरे संपर्क में है ।
    अपने ही एक नवोदय की एक बहन के साथ ऐसा हुआ ।
    माँ बनने के बाद उसके पति ने उसे छोड़ दिया । फैमिली ने सारी प्रॉपर्टी अपने नाम करवा ली । अब आप लीग ही बताइए इस स्थिति में वो बहन क्या कर सकती है ।
    यदि उसके ओएस खुद की एक नौकेरी होती तो वह सुकून से अपने बच्चे की देखरेख जार सकती । अब उसे अपनी चिंता नही है उसे अपने बच्चे की चिंता ज्यादा है । ऐसे और कई उदाहरण है मेरे पास । सबको यहाँ नही लिख सकता ।

    इसलिए विनम्र निवेदन है कि एक माँ को उसके बच्चे की परवरिस में लिए हुए निर्णयों के सम्मान करें ,क्योंकि हम में से केवल एक माँ ही है जो समझती है कि उसके बच्चे के लिए क्या सही है क्या गलत ।।

    • अखंड,

      तुमने तो सबकुछ कह दिया. इतनी कम उम्र में इतनी अच्छी और प्रोग्रेसिव थिंकिंग. शायद ज़िंदगी को तुमने बहुत करीब से देखना शुरू कर दिया है. I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go!

      with love.

  9. BHAWANA Bharti said

    Ek bache ki parwarish ke liye Maa ka aanchal aur pita ka sneh dono hi chahiye, ek Maa ko Kya karna chahiye wo bakhubi Janti Hai,Maa to khud hi tyaag ki murat hoti hai,bachon ki khushi k liye to sayad khud ko bhool jati Hai,jahan tak naukri ka sawal hai, bas chhor dena ya chhorne ko mazboor karna to koi vikalp nahi, pariwar k sahyog se sari samasya ka hal nikala ja sakta hai,

    • Raj said

      Yes, obviously it is her choice. it is not question of only sacrifice or choice. it is much greater than that. actually how working women should behave, is to be decided by herself. question like above is not to be raised as it shows our biased approach. why should only women sacrifice by losing her job. either it is their joint responsibility or decision to be jointly decided. I agree with her. Its very difficult to return back same place after big gap. One may feel awkward. It shakes confidence also. But it is not straight forward solution. One should decide about it by her own perspective and by weighing all alternatives and also incorporating her husband and family advice.

  10. Dr.Abhay Kumar said

    In my opinion situation makes the decision. Same formula can’t fit in every family like the same shoes can’t fit everyone. And Children are the future of family and nation,so should be given proper care and love.And mother can do better than father in early stage.This is rather biological.Father has his own boundary of care and support for their offsprings.

  11. Lianboi Vaiphei said

    M impressed dat some one really writes from a truly woman’s perspective.

  12. Anamika said

    It should be purely an individual’s choice!!

  13. DP Mishra said

    Despite well expressed and illustrated Shweta’s answer to someone’s incomplete question, actually, is a limited one with full of subjectivity, for it looks a case specific one which Shweta might have come across. A Jane Austen style, I would say. The issue of leaving the job for the proper care of children is really a complex one. Suggestions to redress this issue would certainly be case specific. All depends on situations and conditions of the particular case. One has to deliberate, discuss with friends, and analyse properly all the outcomes before arriving at the decision of quitting or not -quitting the job. Option of nannies are definitely there but conditions of affordability too. In many cases, or most of the cases, people have such a strong support from their families that they dont need to quit the job. In metros we manage with nannies. There are some nannies very good at caring while many others prove disastrous. The issue matters woman to woman too. There are many women who are so caring for their children that they actually quit their good jobs. At the same time there are many who can’t afford to lose their even-useless jobs at any cost; for them their personal lives are more important. It is also a reality, and they should not be criticised actually. I think all depends. Shweta’s admiration is for a ‘type’ only. It is about a very sensible woman and she definitely need not to be convinced to quit the job. I personally think that things can be managed most of the times without leaving the job. Kind of jobs also matter– some are very responsible and time consuming, some can be managed even with the child. In some cases where jobs are just a timepass, not worth the burden they may be left.

    • Hi Durga Bhaiya,

      Thank you so much for your kind comment. You made your point very well. You seem to be an analytical thinker. 🙂
      I think you hit the nail on the head when you said that it is about a very sensible woman and she definitely need not to be convinced to quit the job! And also, no sensible man will ever try to convince his wife or have anything to control her.

      Regards.

    • Shweta said

      I am glad you took the time to read it and gave your feedback. 🙂
      It is true that each of us have a different set of experience and mindset. Our opinions shape accordingly. As you mentioned that my views are about ‘a sensible woman and she definitely need not be convinced to quit the job’. My admiration is certainly for a certain ‘type’, but it is not as limited as you assumed. Yes I gave examples of sensible women, because in most of the cases the jobs men see as ‘time pass’ provide much more to a woman and her family.

      If you just read the message in my response that a woman should not be asked to leave her job, please read again. The message is, it is a decision both parents should take as a team. I never said or meant that a father would not have a say. But I strongly say again, it is not only up to the father (or family and/or society) to take this decision. When you are ‘convincing’ someone, you have taken a decision and you want the other one to follow. When you discuss it the stage is still open. There is a difference. And howsoever subjective this topic is, this difference is a constant in this equation.

  14. Dear All,

    I would like to thank each and everyone of you for your valuable comments. I really value your opinion! I appreciate the time and effort you have spent to share your insightful thoughts.

    Regards.

  15. B K Hemant said

    It’s wonderful to go through the article. With my observation so far on life, all i can say is “Every individual born on this earth come with different behavior be it male or female. Human behavior is very complex. Every individual has a choice to make, he/she can lead life the way they want it to be. But when you commit life with marriage, its always mutual. Partner should always respect ones decision/choice and support, rather not convince or stop supporting ones decision. It’s always good to keep away from your differences and appreciate/complement each other to be better next day. Parenting is an art in the initial days of kids growth. People are self obsessed these days, they do not care what effect it will have on a baby. Making a choice to leave/quit the job does not help. Its how you rise your kids managing with/without job. Of all the things mother will obviously know with what insecurities she is leading her life. If she is not willing to quit her job partially or permanently, obviously she has goals in her mind set. Its an endless thing to discuss on human behavior/psychology. We can only be supportive and helping.

  16. DP Mishra said

    Dear Shweta, the way I wish to address you, I didn’t read any msg, from your post, like ‘women should not be asked to leave the job’ nor did I ever feel that you think so. Before anything I wish to clear that my post is neither a feedback nor a comment nor a reaction on your views. Somebody had asked my opinion on the question along with your post, and it was just a sincere reply to that.
    Why I termed the post as a limited and subjective one is simply because the question itself is incomplete, lacking information. You are definitely thorough with the case but looks like you have simply assumed all goodness in the mother. May be the guy is also very sensible, we don’t, actually know, the situation for solutions to the problem, entirely a situational one. See, reacting to someone’s ‘women’s perspective’ comment you proudly wrote ‘I am a woman’. That shows you wish to advocate something. We must’ve Keatsean ‘Negative Capability’ to analyze the situation properly. We don’t need to pull the rickshaw to feel the rickshawpullers’ pain rather we should be able to feel it even without doing so. I highly appreciate your style of writing but every rhetoric signifies biases, no matter conscious or unconscious. The last passage discovery relating to the ‘difference’ is worthless but a signifier.

    • Shweta said

      I appreciate your time. Whether it was a feedback or not, it did help me. Just few things, my comment which is construed as a proud ‘I am a woman’ was just stating the fact. A woman’s perspective as it is written by a woman. Simple as that. I do wish to advocate many things, but I usually charge for it (pun intended). And I did assume the guy is nice, else I would not have wasted my breath on answering this question. 🙂
      Having said that, yes it is very subjective. It can never be an absolute answer. I repeat in light of all other comments here I NEVER said a father should not have a say. My father played an important role in making me what I am and he contributed in my mother’s growth. I have received support from my husband and he from me. So I have a biased opinion that men are usually nice. In order to establish the greatness of women we do not need to demean men.

      All that is fine and I appreciate the mention of Keats. I am an almost fan. Only thing is you called my punch line worthless (‘but a signifier’ is no great comfort *sigh* ). Now I don’t know how would I cope up with that!! (Probably will drown this disappointment in gallons of tea)
      Jokes apart, it was nice reading your perspective. Your comments reflect that you read and are analytical. Thank you 🙂

  17. DP Mishra said

    We must not let you plunge into gallons of water…What I wished to say was definitely not worthless but unwarranted. And I, too, am a big fan of Keats. No poet matches him in his use of sensuous and synesthetic imagery.
    Really impressed with the way you write. Thanks to you too.

  18. First of all I wud like to thank all d people here for their valuable views and for raising such a sensitive topic. Yes, it was needed to be discuss openly.

    For me, yes it’s a matter of CHOICE and SACRIFICE. I think a woman, where ever she z put up, can handle the things consciously n wid full dedication. Whether, it’s being a HOUSE WIFE or A WORKING MOTHER. It’s should be her choice but not her sacrifice.. But even if it’s a matter of sacrifice., She will accept it with a broad smile as well. I think a woman just need support and some respect. It’s like fuel to energize them for whatever job she z doing.

    Please, DO NOT make them feel guilt and ashamed of being a working mother, as she z handling your family , children and job equally. Instead support her, boost her up mentally to balance the situations she z already aware about. Don’t blame her for every failure and poor patenting as the whole family is equally responsible for that.

    So, just encourage her and make her feel special for whatever she’s doing, she will fill your world with happiness.

    Don’t forget that this whole UNIVERSE HAS BORN FROM HER WOMB, SHE CAN HANDLE THE UNIVERSE, It’s just a matter of family and job. So Chill and support. 😊

  19. dr vishwas saxena said

    why girl again?——-leaving parent,leaving surname—-leaving everything——now its job!—–In today’s world gender equality is in practice —-but looks like its a preach——–! why a lady must shed every time—-? sorry folks its very painful
    A boy becomes a husband and remains a son yet—-a girl turns to a daughter in law overnight—–which has to pay some costs of this new role—-? I say its our duty to look after our parents—–thats fine—-just because we love them—but what about the girl who comes alone on a lone assurance of our love—! sorry i am ready to become a bad son if I have to opress my spouse to appease my parents—!
    Parents are jewels and must be preserved —-but taking care of wife’s emotions is no difficult—-true manhood is to stand by the side of lady who gives you everything and say boldly I am with you—-jab koyee bat bigad jaye jab koyee mushkil pad jaye —tum dena saath mera o humnawa—
    I will never ever do —in fact my wife never quitted my job and I took all the bully on me —I dont need any appaud —-my best accolade is the one I got in front of agni —and need nothing else

    • Hi Bhaiya…

      Very much clear and bold opinion. Thank you very much for taking your precious time to share your thoughts and experience here. I am delighted to read through your wonderful comments.

      Regards

  20. Priyanka Mishra said

    Nice article and the point to differentiate choice and sacrifice must be appreciated. ‘Maa’ is the best person to understand the needs and future of her child and behind every decision of her there must be some valid reason. Some points in the article explains it beautifully;
    -Parents are spouses before they turn parents and one must discuss all the aspects before deciding to increase liabilities. Think on every aspect considering all the situations and circumstances before and after the birth of the child and discuss with your partner.
    – It is true that the choice of the mother shall be considered but if you have agreed on the terms before becoming a mother, you have to respect your decision. They must give priority to the child not for the sake of family or society but to respect the decision to become a parent.
    – It is not that always a mother shall be forced to stay back at home for the child but a mother understands the needs of her child the most that is why she is assumed to be with the child more than the father. But again it should be decided mutually.
    – being a law student , I must say, law says there must be no discrimination on the basis of gender, every person shall be treated equally and the point is that a child is not the responsibility of a mother only, It’s the responsibility of a father too. Though in India family and relations must come first, but this must be followed for both male and female. No partiality shall be there.
    Despite of these facts, our society will take time to develop the thought that as a woman is liable for child upbringing as well as other family affairs, the whole family shall also be equally liable and support her.

    • Shweta said

      Well said Priyanka. Thank you for the apt summarisation! I like the neutral and logical tone of your comment. Mother is the greatest pal a kid can have, but it doesn’t mean to demean the father, something most of the people forget while expressing their views.
      Being a lawyer myself, the difference between a law and societal understanding of it stops us from creating an ideal society! But hey, there has never been any ideal society anyway 🙂 It will change in coming years. I have seen it changing around me. So I hope for a better tomorrow 🙂
      Thank you for reading 🙂

    • Thank you very much for taking time out of your busy schedule to write here. Love you meri Tota! 🙂

  21. I could not refrain from commenting. Exceptionally well written!

  22. Shivam said

    Hi there, after reading this remarkable post and comment I am too happy to say fantastic Rewa.

    • Thank to you too Shivam. It’s because of you blog readers who are making this blog remarkable! Glad to find you here. I awe my blog readers!

  23. Olivia said

    There’s definitely a lot to learn about this topic. I like all of the points you made. I think if the husband and In-Laws are aware of your qualifications and occupation – and they asking you to adopt the stay-home mom (assuming u still want to work) is insensitive and disrespectful.
    If you are kind of person who wants to make something of yourself and have a drive and goals that you feel you have to accomplish, then quitting will only make you miserable and make you hate yourself.
    On the other side ‘Tomorrow is not promised’. I would not suggest any woman become a house wife. Harmony in any marriage should not be conditional. If you have the ability to work, please work, if not for yourself but for your child’s security and future.

  24. Venugopal said

    Simply desire to say your article is as astonishing. The clarity to your post is just spectacular and i could suppose you are knowledgeable person. Rewa, Thanks one million and please keep up the gratifying work.

    Sometimes not wanting their wives to work boils down to the plain old control issue. If a man is a healthy mind, he would encourage his wife’s wanting a career. Child care is not just the responsibility of women so men need to understand it that there are PLENTY of things to worry about.

    If not, he may not want her out in the ‘real world’ for fear she will perhaps succeed and can not be a controlled the way he wants. 😉

    • Shweta said

      I will take the liberty to respond being the author of this article. Thank you Venugopal.
      You rightly pointed out that it all boils down to the need of having control in a relationship. Insecure men create unhappy wives who in turn bring up emotionally unstable (the degree varies greatly) kids! and it becomes a vicious circle. Our kids deserve better, the society deserve better!

    • Thanks a lot Venu. Thank you for all your support and encouragement and words can neither qualify nor quantify how helpful your guidance and I will forever be grateful for your guidance and kindness.

  25. Dr Ranjeeta said

    “And being a mother she must have thought something and planned well to take such decision. If you convince her that would anyways have a bad effect on your relationship with her. So, you don’t need to convince or force her. Instead convince yourself that it’s her life, her choices, and it’s all about her decision! Respect it!!!”

    Well said Rewa. It’s very simple, very straightforward and very honest. The need for a husband to treat his wife with honor and respect. It’s very important. This has more to do with the mindset of an Indian Male and the values he passes on to generations. It is well known that Indian society is largely patriarchal in its mindset. A husband who dominates his wife is considered to be a “man”. It is perfect time to make some plans for the future and it is time to be happy.

    Rewa, I think your readers are coming back. 🙂 keep content relevant to your readers.

    • Hi Ranjeeta,

      I really appreciate your thoughtful comment. Your advice or suggestions are always appreciated and welcomed. I hope so, and you may be right that they are back. May be they were waiting for me, but I am surely waiting for them. 🙂

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