Turning the wheel…

…..when the blue water plays with the shore to tell something…..

Who are letting Dowry alive??

Posted by Rewa Smriti on December 21, 2008

There are cries. . . . . Tears trickling from the eyes. . . . . Furious crowd ! . . . . Burnt again ! . . . . . . “Ye AAG kab Bujhegi ?”

This sketch is of the right passage between our hostel and post mortem hall. ,a bare area where we see the tears, morning to evening. . . . . Emotions collapsing under law. Hundreds of the strange face weeping around and the sound striking over the window of our hostel…. To read more click on the link… Will this fire extinguish ?

The above quoted article written by Abhay, would probably sound very depressing but this is the truth. Well, that was very very bad and I felt I should put something up here. It is to be noted that no one has right to kill anybody and destroy the life of others.

Anyway, what really is the worth of a “man” who allows himself to be bought in this way?? Some of the men think that just because they will take care of their wife, so they can take dowry! Then, they must put themself down on the list! Mind you, no logic can justify the dowry.

All those men who take dowry, they act as if they are worth a lot, but they must know that they are simply no worth. They perhaps will eventually convince themselves as well as others but their worth is even lesser than “ZERO”!

Unfortunately, some women are willing to play saying “if my parents can afford it then why not?” Undoubtedly, I would say that they are mostly fool, arrogant and very poor wife material. Following their logic, I suggest that “throw them in dustbin!” 

Now more women are raising their voice against dowry. Do you think all the women born in satyavadi raja Harishchandra’s family? No, not at all! These days it’s not just men, some of the women are breaking the law. In fact, the dowry law is being misused by women! Let us not forget that we are here, not because we are law breakers, we are here to become law makers. We should just stop breaking the law!

I personally feel that girls and their families should say no to any groom or his family who ask for dowry. But, no and never, it shouldn’t be encouraged in any way. It may change if real educated and right thinking people reject saying “NO” to this uncivilised practice!

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86 Responses to “Who are letting Dowry alive??”

  1. ranjeeta said

    Indian women everywhere suffer the same, in silence and in shame.

  2. nikhil said

    Dowry is a prestige issue in India..The families feel proud to say that we have given this much of dowry and on..!!!Even bride and groom may against it but they are helpless when families decide to do so…!!!!
    Changing nature of Dowry is also a worrying factor…cash or kind…dowry is dowry…!!!
    Many helpless MEN are unfortunate victims of the law…!!
    But slowly its changing, however the amount parents spent on marriages is increasing day by day..I mean is it really required to spend lakhs of rupees on marriages? ( think men…spending so much for for loosing freedom..hehehehe…)
    Forget about our parents or grandpa generation..we cant change their mentality but we, when we will become parents..we should not indulge in these hopeless practices…!!!! it is the only solution of this problem..!!!

  3. Nidhi said

    Rightly said by nikhil.
    it hs become a status symbol nd its a seek game played btwn two parnts.nd gals family try to impress d guy’s family by offering as high as possible,nd in d way a silent well watcher mr.bridegroom is selling himself.
    gals sud turn down ny man who asks fr dowry.

  4. Kiran said

    I feel sad to read about the pain she would have gone through. It’s really worried me that how females are being treated even today in India. When will the dowry death and bride-burning end?

  5. Sandesh said

    I’m not a supporter of so called Dahej ….n also I dont want to discuss the origin ,the basic and the motive ……but the thing is ……How many of us can deny that they will not take any type of gifts or any dowry in their marriages.

    Its very easy to deny on paper , on discussion ,in poems,in heart touching stories ..or in other forms.But can we hav courrage to protest to take/give the dowry in our marriages ……I know the number, I can count on fingers ,even among us .

    Problem is endless , no solution …. but I hav read every question has its answer …….where it is ??

  6. Sandesh said

    How many can settle for a court marriage ….. we are in the states where we are not able to find woods for funeral,we are not able to provide blankets in the cold ……N the we are spending 80k bugs for their “shadi joda”…which they only wear once in a life !!!

    Rs 55000 crores ??? its a wedding business turnover ….. 🙂
    Rs 34800 crores ??? poverty impovment budget for india in 2008-2009 ……..

  7. Sandesh said

    *we are spending 80k bugs* ……..read it as *girls are spending 80k bugs*..as I changed it at last moment ,Kyunki mujhe istri ke kop ka bhajan nahi ban na

    So drive safely 🙂

  8. nikhil said

    I am very sure that majoroty of us will definately deny Dowry..I can assure you that based on little exposure of mine here…Girls here are furious (good cause)…hehehhehe!!!
    I would like to relate this topic to previous one…!!!
    Educate Men..!!!(Sry Abhi)
    Make women self sufficient…you can notice that earning clan of women is actual in a position to deny marriage proposal if she finds that proposal is not good for her, be it dowry or groom or family or anything..as money earning power nd capability to compete give them power to stand against any odds…!!!
    Many dowry victims are basically victims of helplessness…!!!

  9. Sandesh said

    I am very sure that majoroty of us will definately deny Dowry..

    Thanks…….but times will be the best judge 🙂

    Many dowry victims are basically victims of helplessness…!!! — not true , Last yr an IAS lady lodged the charge against dowry ….

  10. kaifeeanwer said

    One of the real crime against women. We all are trying to find various solution for this problem, but could not see any result. Rather it is growing day to day.
    I and my friends are all set to get maried in next 2-3 years. By God’s grace we all are established. Till few years back, all were against dowry. But now situation is little different.

    Almost we all have younger sisters,for which dowry is demended. So few friends have planned to take dowry to compensate his sister dowry.

    Few friends who has no sister, need not dowry. But looking for a working girl so that he can have financial support through out his life.

    I analyzed that at last nobody hates dowry system (except few). They have accepted it as a part of society.

    let me discuss about female friends who are set to get married in next 2 years. They are facing more prolems than boys. Even after well education and job they are ready to offer Dowry as a social system. Still their difficulties in finding the suitable boy has become a sob story.

    The above examle i have given to understand the problems with the women in INDIA. If well educated females are in problem then what about rest of the population. Our society leave no option except to suicide for women.

    I agree with the reasons given by you all. Women are responsible for it upto some extent and social status. My opinion is little different. I have lot to discuss in this topic. Beacuase I have seen it from my childhood – starting from my family – relatives – neighbours – district level – national level and last experience with my close friends who are looking for bride.

    please dont worry I am not going to write thesis on this topic here. But sure we can discuss some specific solutions with supportive reasons.

    1. I am going to start from Indian Education System. We have medical, Engneering, MBA etc colleges, But no college to discuss Human Engineering. How the problems can be solved ? We dont award for the innovative ideas to solve the human problems. We never discuss, How much we have lost due to social problems. Our economic system never counts the profit or loss due to corruption and crimes. This is the reason India is one of the poorest country in terms of Human Value Index in world. We are celeberating on Ambani Brothers, TATA, BIRLA and Mittals daughter marriage ceromony in London. Every Page 3 is full of marriage jwellery, having full coverage of MONEY.

    2. No time for next today, so I directly come to point.

    All Boys says ” I will not ask for dowry, If somebody offers then I will not deny”

    This is the senetence which is the root cause of dowry system (I feel). Until and unless boys take tough decision and fight against PARENT and society against dowry and say “Strictly NO to dowry”, the crime against women will not come to end easily. Boys are more responsible for this crime. They want the best girl with best dowry. They close their lips, at the time of taking dowry. This is true that if a crime is in society then everybody is responsible for it upto some extent(Directly or Indirectly). But here in our society the boy who is going to get married has power not to damand or accept dowry. Today women should also take this step,as they are aware.

    But the present scenariois has been very complex. As a boy get a good job , bombarded with the dowry offers(bride is secondary). My some friends has rently joing Government Officer posts.They always say me the offers they have 20 – 30 lacs, but no discussion about the girl.Marriage has become business. I have attended more than 500 marriage ceromony, but have never discussed on recpetion. My all courage diminishes there. I have given speeches on this topic, But never discussed it on the real situation.Did I never try ? No I have tried, but why I failed.
    When you ask the boy side, he has the excuse.” I have not demended, If they offers I can’t hurt them. Girl side says “Did you find a bettr boy who will marry my daughter, without dowry, Even if you can, can you guaruntee me every thing will go on track after marriage”. I used to say them”I will marry, without dowry”. They asked ” O.k , we believe you can, But can you arrange your sister’s marriage without dowry”. I have no answer. Why ? I will discuss later…..Read more details on my blog http://www.kaifeeanwer.wordpress.com

  11. nikhil said

    @ sandesh
    Obviously time will tell you the truth …compare dowry death 80 years back and now..!!! Its reducing and it is inversly proportionate to percentage of Earning/educated Women. It will take time…its very deeply rooted evil…!!

    IAS case..Exceptions are there..this may be case of misusing the law…!!! that doesnt suffice tour stand…majority of them are victims of helplessness..!!!

  12. In most cases of dowry deaths belonged to ‘bride burning’. Why?

    I can say 90% families are facing this social problem in one way or other way. It’s disgusting when a boy’s parents is demanding dowry from the bride’s father saying ‘we have spent a lot of money on our son for his education’ and now they can take dowry to compensate it. Then where is the parent’s love towards son? And most of the guys tend to keep silent when their parents ask for dowry. In other words, why they locked their lips at that time?

  13. @Nikhil,

    In fact, guy’s parents ask for dowry to working women too! And they don’t only ask for dowry, they even ask girls to leave the job! What would you say on this?

    rgds.

  14. […] . . . . Tears trickling from the eyes. . . . . Furious crowd ! . . . . Burnt again ! . . . . . . “Ye AAG kab Bujhegi ?” This sketch is of the right passage between our hostel and post mortom hall. ,a bare area where we […]

  15. Nidhi said

    shame on thos parents who seeks fr dowry nd shame on thos guys who desn’t speak out.whover demanding dowry pt them in jail nd let thm b hanged in frnt of peple. then i m sure no one wud take a dowry.

  16. Nidhi said

    ‘I used to say them”I will marry, without dowry”. They asked ” O.k , we believe you can, But can you arrange your sister’s marriage without dowry”. I have no answer. Why ?’

    @Kaifee

    parents hav evrythng fr thir son up.many prnts treat thir children inequaly.de dnt treat equaly wid bth daughters nd sons.de dnt rely on thir daughters.nd gals r killed by thir parents.if de treat equaly wid bth,u wud hav ans of ur queston.

  17. Nidhi said

    ‘N the we are spending 80k bugs for their “shadi joda”…which they only wear once in a life !!!’

    @sandesh

    thre a way to avoid it.whatvr d total wedding expenditures dat sud b shred equaly by bth.

  18. Gagandeep said

    I have to say that girl’s father also try to buy husband for his daughter. They also want their daughters to be well secure financially so they use to tell boys parent that ‘we will give you good dowry if you accept our daughter with your boy’

    I think, its not only boy’s mistakes or boy’s parents, girl’s parents are also very well involved in give and take the dowry.

  19. nikhil said

    @ Rewaji

    In such cases girls can take stand that I will not leave job and wont pay a single penny…!!! Being a earning person,she has a choice to refuse…She can take a stand for herself..No need to leave job just because inlaws are forcing…There are lot of good guys are there (Like me)…hehehehe…It is only woman who can make stand….!!
    Infact girls to bays ratio says, girls are less…so dont worry,where will we go…:-))???? Just be self sufficient and be stubborn…Dont give and take Dowry…!!!
    At least when we will become parents…we should avoid these pathetic practices..!!!
    Atleast boys should have some dignity…dont take or demand Dowry..why we need it? what is the use of our education?
    wake up guys…!!!

  20. Kiran said

    @Nidhi, i agreed with you! Guys must take stands!

    There should also be registered a case against dowry givers. Not a single case is ever found against dowry givers.

    Additional Commissioner of Police(crime)Rajender singh once said, ‘Domestic violence is something we can not control, but violence on the street can be controlled by policing.’

  21. Kiran said

    ‘what is the use of our education?’

    @nikhil
    EDUCATED????No wonder!
    education and gud jobs are meant demanding more dowry!

  22. Nidhi said

    especially ias nd engineers r asking fr mor dowry.

  23. nikhil said

    @ kiran

    Dowry is certainly not a “USE” of our education…education & good job lead to dowry..but we should take a stand…WE should “USE” it for right cause…!!!

  24. ranjeeta said

    Even after the dowry is given, there are continuous demands from guys side. Its shame that they make use of their DEGREES and JOBS to boost and increase their value in the MARRIAGE MARKET!!

  25. nikhil said

    @ Ranjeetaji

    Both sides are equally responsible..Not only Guys side..!!!!
    Ladkiwale bhi kyun badhava dete hai????

    You can not give clean cheat to any parties…!!

  26. Gagandeep said

    Eevery single girl these days expects to get a rich husband. Can anybody tell me from where girl’s parents bring so much money for dowry? 🙂

  27. Gagandeep said

    To Make dowry business more profitable.

    Gals says : papa ke TIJORI ko luto

    guys say : mujhe bech do

    😛

  28. Sandesh said

    ‘N the we are spending 80k bugs for their “shadi joda”…which they only wear once in a life !!!’

    @sandesh

    thre a way to avoid it.whatvr d total wedding expenditures dat sud b shred equaly by bth.

    — Is it really require to hav ??

    If u really want to avoid the problem u hav to cut the cost ( Cost cutting is general phenomena nowadays 🙂 )

    =>especially ias nd engineers r asking fr mor dowry.

    IAS to hai hi thode se…..aur engineer jaisi sarif breed is duniya mein hai hi nahi …….. 🙂

    Is discussion ka koi fayda nahi hai ……hum mein se har koi dahej lega uar dega ( sayad magega nahi , lekin agar milega to mana bhi nahi karega 🙂 )

  29. nikhil said

    @ Sandesh
    Kindly exclude me from your list..:-))!!!

  30. Nidhi said

    ‘IAS to hai hi thode se…..aur engineer jaisi sarif breed is duniya mein hai hi nahi ……..’

    apne desh main kitney jile hain? shayad har jile main ek IAS(DM) v hota hai..sarif ka defination change ho gaya hai kia? 😛

    wat made u to say ‘Is discussion ka koi fayda nahi hai’?
    who told u al wil giv dowry?
    no one is fr dowry here…v all r against it.

  31. Nidhi said

    ‘IAS to hai hi thode se…..aur engineer jaisi sarif breed is duniya mein hai hi nahi ……..’

    @sandesh
    apne desh main kitney jile hain? shayad har jile main ek IAS(DM) v hota hai..sarif ka defination change ho gaya hai kia? 😛

    wat made u to say ‘Is discussion ka koi fayda nahi hai’?
    who told u al wil giv dowry?
    no one is fr dowry here…v all r against it.

  32. ranjeeta said

    I oppose the dowry system. I am a working woman and I stand as equal to a man!
    I will not give dowry, nor I shall allow my parents to give dowry. I will not back out from my words.

  33. nikhil said

    Bravo Ranjeeta..!!!

    Sandesh..your list is reducing 🙂

  34. ‘IAS to hai hi thode se…..aur engineer jaisi sarif breed is duniya mein hai hi nahi ……..’

    True statment. I support sandesh on this point, Engineers are topper in demending DOWRY. Whether a Diploma or B.tech or NIIT or Jetking – everyone is an engineer. I have observed many cases with engineers.I criticize this community “Engineers” for these act.
    Note: – Please don’t take it at individual level.(Me too an engineer)

    @ Nidhi,

    I respect your feelings, But it is true “‘Is discussion ka koi fayda nahi hai’?
    I don’t mean that we are not doing well. Yes offcourse if we discuss it here and atleast one guy stand up to fight agaist it. we will win.

    You can’t generalize “no one is fr dowry here…v all r against it.” to other. I can say about me that I am against it, But can’t say about others opinion

  35. nikhil said

    In short We can conclude that :

    Womwn Should take a stand that they will marry without givin dowry…!!!
    Guys should not demand for dowry…!!!
    Gals wont misuse the law…!!!

    every Problem has a solution..!!!

  36. @Nikhil,

    It’s very nice to say women should take stand. But how? We must not forget, in our country most of the women are suppressed and dominated by men and it is one of the most difficult steps for women to come up and fight for this until unless they don’t find themselves secure in society.

    You suggested men should not demand…What to say about most of the men…Jahan unhe aage aana chahiye wahan to wo pairon mein mehandi or munh mein tala lagaye rahte hein. Then how they will come forward?

    And, both must avoid to misuse dowry law, it applies to both genders!

    Anyway, this is not the conclusion of this post as without talking about solution we can not reach to any conclusion! Let’s find the solution if you have.

  37. @Kaifee,

    You talked about human value in your previous comment. What you have said, it’s very true and fact. I liked it very much and I wish to talk on that in next post.

    Secondly, you have mentioned few points on your blog as the solution of this social problem. I am putting them here so that all can think upon these points and put forward their views here.

    Kaifee said:

    I invite you all; please advise the solutions for this problem. Also how it can be implemented?

    Jobs: – Will jobs to women will minimize the dowry system
    Education: – How education has helped to prevent this problem.
    Love Marriage: – Will it help?
    Freedom to choose life partner: –
    Extremely strict laws against dowry: –
    Social Awareness: –
    Women Empowerment: –
    Promote by Religious, Social, Political leaders, Media: –
    Dowry should be propagated a crime like rap.
    Every marriage should abide by rules to check on it. Parameter should be defined. Like GIFTS should not be allowed.

    There are more solutions you can suggest.

    I will also come back with few more points.

  38. @Ranjeeta and Nikhil,

    Both of you have broken the silence of the words by taking such a bold step. It simply proved that you think for the betterment of society. Thanks.

    rgds.

  39. Can anybody tell me from where girl’s parents bring so much money for dowry?

    @Gagandeep,

    I guess in most of the middle class family, the day girls take birth, parents start saving money for their daughters dowry instead of sending them to good school. And somewhere the fear of dowry make them to ignore their education.

    But on the other hand, we find a vast gap between rich and poor. Most of the so called higher class people are having “Black Money”. In our society, large number of people are corrupt people, servants who are having black money, benami property or luta hua dhan from poor people etc…they all are culprit and creating problem in our society. These people have lot of black money…Take example: politicians, leaders, buiseness men, beaurocrates.(IAS, IPS, DIG, IG etc) And inke paas itna black money aata hai ki ye apni betiyon ko paise mein hi dubakar rakhe. We have to put full stop here. Ye sab dowry death ka reason hai…but we can not blame them. As we do not speak out against of these culprits, so we all are responsible for this!

    Anyway, let’s talk about solution.

    rgds.

  40. But can you arrange your sister’s marriage without dowry”. I have no answer. Why?

    Dear Kaifee,

    You would have answer if –

    *All parents would behave with their children equally.
    *They would provide equal education to daughters as they use to give their sons.
    *They would give same kind of freedom to both genders.
    *They would not ignore their daughters dream.
    *They would not worry about “what others will say”.
    *And why only parents? In fact, if all brothers would encourage their sisters to move forward with a purpose and commitment to fulfill their dreams.

    If I am wrong, tell me I will correct myself. Thats all for now. 🙂

  41. Lucky said

    Jobs: – Will jobs to women will minimize the dowry system
    —- No ,they will just increse the live-in-relations
    Education: – How education has helped to prevent this problem.
    — pade likhe log hi to samjhe hai ke plasma TV ke hove hai 🙂
    Love Marriage: – Will it help?
    —- Ha, this could be a solution , magar divorce a kharcha bad jayega
    Freedom to choose life partner: –
    —- Swayam shuru karaoge ab
    Extremely strict laws against dowry: –
    —- Will increase the misuse, still it is very strict
    Social Awareness: –
    —- nononononono
    Women Empowerment: –
    —- Already girls are powered 🙂
    Promote by Religious, Social, Political leaders, Media: –
    —- they dont hav time ..it doesnt increase TRP for media
    Dowry should be propagated a crime like rap.
    —- only 17% rapist are punished in India 🙂
    Every marriage should abide by rules to check on it. Parameter should be defined. Like GIFTS should not be allowed.
    —- Gift ???

    But I hav a simple solution but very hard to execute

    — Court mein jao do gawaho ke sath ….aur kar lo shaadi

    mandir mein le lo fere ……..sat fere 🙂
    pandit na mile to …..main hu na

  42. Ambika said

    What I feel is, if the girl’s parents can afford it, then why shoudn’t they spend some with their daughter??!!

    The problem arises, when “Dowry” becomes the sole reason for Making as well as Breaking up marriages!!

    Ambika

  43. Amit said

    After reading the various comments, I can say dowry is a black spot on our country. Sorry to mention one very serious effect of dowry is female infanticide and female foeticide. Can anything be more cruel than this?

  44. Rewa you are Absolutely true ..

    Nice solutions, I welcome more innovative ideas to solve this problem.

  45. @LUCKY,

    You point of view is correct. I liked your Solution

    “— Court mein jao do gawaho ke sath ….aur kar lo shaadi

    mandir mein le lo fere ……..sat fere
    pandit na mile to …..main hu na ”

    One of simple and best solution.

  46. Nidhi said

    gals must take pledge to stop it.
    govt. sud make a strict rule against dowry.
    inter-caste marges sud b encouraged.

  47. nikhil said

    @ Rewaji

    It is very complex issue..it is also closely associated to poverty,education,religious practices,womanempowerment,male dominance,,nd list goes on…!!!!
    We have to break through somewhere…!!! Like Ranjeetaji…take a stand,,firm stand…!!
    i understand majority of women are not in a position to raise their voices..they need empowerment,education,better environment etc….its very long process…!!!
    Make sure that we will not indulge in such practices when we wil become parents..!! If oue whole generation decides to do that it will turn into social movement…!!!

    Dowry law is misused by girls only….!!!!unfortunately 🙂

  48. Gagandeep said

    Social Awareness: – Women and Men both need to stand against dowry. I think a mass awareness is needed.

    Nikhil, I agree with you. It is misused by the so called feminists, empowered, educated city women.

  49. Lucky said

    inter-caste marges sud b encouraged.

    hehehehe……… Read verse 41-42 ,chapter 1 of Bhagavad Gita

    I am writing meaning of it
    –Arjuna,
    ‘With the preponderance of vice, Krsna, the women of the family become corrupt and with the corruption of women, O descendant of Vrsni there ensues an intermixture of castes’ ..I 41
    ‘Admixture of blood damns the destoyers of the race as well as the race itself, Deprived of the offerings of rice and water the manes of their race also fall.’ ..42

    It is scientifically proove that cross gene related to different society creat problem in their kids.

  50. @Nikhil,

    Dowry law is misused by both ways and you can not deny it. The large majority of women suffer because of dowry demand so we probably need strcit laws for women to protect them from dowry death. And we need law till we shouldn’t think of giving a equal status to women in society. If we would give equal respect to them then I am sure there won’t be any need of this dowry law or nor women would demand for it, neither anyone of us will misuse dowry law.

    Note: Please don’t add JI with my name, I like to be called just Rewa.

    rdgs.

  51. @Lucky,

    First of all, you go and read ‘Gita’ properly, read more than twice then you come back to talk about it with me. I will not like to discuss on this here.

    I do agree with Nidhi at this point. We must encourage intercaste marriage!

    rgds.

  52. Shanta said

    Dear Lucky.. what are you saying has merit.. because all those things has been written who spent lives doing meditation and acquired knowledge… but don’t interpret wrongly… you must be aware we followed varn vyavastha…
    you should read..gita completely.. there Krishn told about the cast.. and mentioned swabhav…
    You should discuss me..
    you first define Brahmand and etc and see how many brahmans are in our contry going on that line…
    be rational man and rise above dogmas

  53. Shahrukh Khan said

    What is BHAGAVAT Gita ?

  54. Shanta said

    hello Lucky..

    I am not talking you have no merit.. you must have.. today I am busy.. but I have read Gita.. there are one section.. this caste system has been described.. will give exact verses and numbers later… I have read mahabharat ramayan etc many times.. even gita.. but now i used to read gita with different angle.. yes my family background is not like yours.. but I am always in touch and discussion with people have good grip on religion, dharma… and they are also leading life of spirituality.. sacrifices.. will discuss you also.. today I am leaving for home….

  55. Lucky said

    @Shanta

    Intelligence is like an underwear, it’s better to have it but not necessary to show it. If u dont have better dont show it, else something else might become visible….

    =>but don’t interpret wrongly… you must be aware we followed varn vyavastha…
    Can u tell me how many time the word”Varn” comes in Gita ,only nce in verse 30 chapter 10 , Gita says “Varn by skill ,not by birth”. I have more to say ,but this is not the topic here .

    =>how many brahmans are in our contry going on that line

    So wat u want ,a brahmin girl shuld marry with a shudra boy ?

    =>be rational man and rise above dogmas

    better to give some strong argue …..debating is just not criticism .

  56. Lucky said

    @Shahrukh Khan

    boss …..bhagvad Gita is the base of hindu sanskriti ….as u ppl have ur holy quran ( both hav misinterpretation )

    ppl are surviving with less knowledge and blamming the religion …..they hav never read a single verse or aayat n start pulling the legs !!! that is how we destroy our religions

    —-> Neway thanks for commenting on my view ,may be the last comment of mine on this post .

  57. Shahrukh Khan said

    Oye Lucky ….Lucky Oye…..rukiye janaab…kya naraaz hoke jaa rahe ho….aise nahi chalega saahab?

    Thodi si guftgu kijiye …agar aap ko koi ikhtelaaf hai -kisi se …zaahir kijiye mere bhai!!

    Agar aap samazate hai ki aap majhabon ke baare me kuchh bunyaadi jaankari hai….zara baat kijiye hum jaise ahmakon ke saath.

    ….to kya BHAGAVAT GITA koi Hindu Sanskriti ki book hai as you said…..jo intercaste marriges allow nahi karati? Yeh kaunsi jubaan me likhi huyee hai? (…as we ppl have Quran in Arabi.)

  58. nikhil said

    @ lucky

    I have one doubt…In geeta varn is defined by skill and not by birth…right…!!
    This became a castism with time…!!! I m a Brahmin by birth.if I do shudra job I will become shudra as per gita…Now if I marry a brahmin girl wat it makes difference….my genes will be change???genes do not change with work you do my friend…!!!
    The point you made abt genes is absolutely right..but dont mix it with gita..( Wrong interpretation)

    Your Genes and castes by VARN(Skills)..are two different things….!!!

  59. So wat u want ,a brahmin girl shuld marry with a shudra boy ?

    @Lucky,

    What’s wrong with this? I can give you many such example. You need to open your mind with positive attitude and see the world is changing. And to remove dowry system, one need to keep an open mind.

  60. Dear friends. . . Lucky,Nikhil,rewajee & All,

    As far as the genetics says,the marriage in close relatives and casts is always inferior.I will not say in detail the medical terms. But in some easy language many unwanted and disease causing recessive (Hidden characters ) gets accumulated if we marry in close relatives. In my blog,in next article i am going to write about the same about Birhor tribe cast. . . It will give better solution.The marriage in distant cast and distant race ,place and habitet is always better. Its our science says. Might be something written in Geeta. . . But i don’t think Geeta or Kuran promote marriage in close relatives. . . . Dear friends if we marry in DISTANT CAST it will certainly improve the itality of the newer generation.

    Now what about dowry system ? It will also in help to combat the dowry system as our options will be broad. If we have no better option in our own cast then will probed in others. . . . I am not going to accept cast bar. . . . Even our family support it. . . . So dear friends spread your wings and fly over the sky. . . . Sky has no limit. . .

  61. nikhil said

    here comes the expert opinion..!!!

    Hope it has clarified all doubts…!!! Luky….its better to live practically and not driven by extreme religic thoughts..!!! Interpretation may mislead you…

    And I would say its our bloody religion that we follow so religiously and proudly is also responsible for what woman are today….!!!! Including dowry and sati practices…..

    So lets stop chanting verses and lets find out answers….

  62. Shashwat said

    I think there is one more angle to dowry system, that is..girl’s share in father’s property. You guys are discussing dowry system, thats fine….but what about girl’s share? Why only boyz shud enjoy father’s assets? How many girls here will claim share in father’s property?
    This was the one of the reasons to start this dowry sys. Eliminate dowry system, but also raise this issue of property. Either hand over the girl’s share to her, or something else.
    Try to see dowry sys in this perspective also.

  63. mehek said

    agar sabhi log ek sur mein dahej lenden ko mana kar denge to ek din ye pratha samapt hogi.

  64. Nidhi said

    thre is no need to talk abt uper nd lower.u hav v low mentality..bramin hone se koi gr8 nai hota.india men ab koi brahmin nai hain.

    i must say caste system hatao.it wil solve al d problems.

  65. Nidhi said

    ‘And I would say its our bloody religion that we follow so religiously and proudly is also responsible for what woman are today….!!!! Including dowry and sati practices…..’

    i totaly agree wid nikhil.
    nd one more important suggestion to kill dowry system.

    ->Encourage inter-religious marriage.i lov to hear ny ones opinion.

  66. nikhil said

    @ Lucky

    I Never asked you to do anything, dont take it personally..( If you want you can )

    I am nowhere compared to you…I know that…you are a genious…..Its better to remain what I am as I really believe that half knowledge is of no use, better I dont have…!!!

    Why dont you clarify your stamds…you are avid follower of “YOUR dharm” then why dont you accept caste bar? why dont you listen to ur parents? ( Badonki suno…wat we r following for 10000 yrs)….Why you flaunt your name in that way? which has no meaning in your dharma? ashamed of your original name? M just asking…answer not expected

    Bhagwan krishn ne cast certificate dekh k radhaji se pyar nahi kiya…!!!

    My religion is bloody in lot of aspects…dowry,sati,castism,child marriage,offering animals to gods,devdasi…..etc are certainly not the things I am proud of…( though we are following it for 10000 years so religiously )

    nikhil.phaltankar@gmail.com is my id..kindly define bloody…!!! or u can post here with due permission of REWA…!!!
    so,
    lets stop chanting verses and lets find out answers…..!!!

  67. nikhil said

    @ Lucky

    maine brahmin hone ka dard bhukta hai….

    Think…hum brahmin logonki wajeh se kitne logon ne dukh bhugta hai…!!!

    We BRAHMINS deprived them for thousands of years of education…!!!!
    We BRAHMINS deprived them of equal social status…!!!
    We BRAHMINS deprived them touching feet of lord Krishna for years…!!!
    We BRAHMINS made them to clean our filth for 1000s of years..!!!!
    We BRAHMINS supposed to preach them the wisdom…but we made this pure religion for our selfishness, wat it is today…shame on us..!!!
    We BRAHMINS kept them outside our villages…!!! living isolated for years…..!!!!
    We BRAHMINS treated them like animals…!!!

    At that time nobody complained..!!

    Now are you proud of being Brahmin???

    Why you have pains when they are given such a small icentives of few bucks??
    you feel bad as you were refused to get admission???job??

    They were refused everything….!!! How bad must they have felt ???

    Reservations,castisms were made by us only…now just tabls are turned…!!! now you are feeling heat..thats the problem…!!

    After 1000 years of supremacy you got only 83%…???

    You are a genious…!!!

    Years of education and experience abroad contributed what??? Brahminism??? you sould have kept your eys open there and should have learnt how to treat everyone equally….!!!

    lets stop chanting verses and lets find out answers…..!!!

  68. Kiran said

    Pls stay focused on the topic

    Indian society as a whole needs to learn to value women in order to solve the problem of dowry system. We can carry out those solutions which have been suggested by Kaifee.

    Suggestion- Extremely strict laws against dowry.

  69. ranjeeta said

    Education is the only key to bring changes in society.

    Anyway, here is my suggestion-

    Indian government should promote one child policy. The couples should have only child in family to remove dowry system.

  70. shashwat said

    इंसान के होते हुए इंसान का ये हश्र,
    देखा नही जाता है मगर देख रहा हूँ|

  71. nikhil said

    Its amusing to see how you take so convenient stands….

    In my life I have not seen politician like you..

    Can you define what is your dharma & in which granth you belive ??? In short

    Only giving few examples like Valmiki you cant generalise it…

    Now you sheded the responsibility to Kings…how funny is that…

    Why didnt you brahmins have the courage to go against it???

    If you are so religious then why you followed kings and not Dharma?

    Not a single question is answered properly…or being a genious you must have felt that , inke saath kya knowledge share karnaa??? 🙂

  72. Lucky said

    Lets talk some good thing abt dwory…….

    1. If you wanna revenge from ur husband then this is the sharpest weapen u hav …its just like ordering a pizza from dominos…just half an hour police will be at ur door.
    2. Accept India ,everywhere in the world ,family issue solved by civil law…but in Bhrat(India)..it is in criminal.
    3. There is no law for a men (husband) for escapping harassment from his wife.
    4. If wife lodge any complaint ,a non compoundable non bailable warrent is issued ..and police can arrest all the relatives ,even pregnant women .
    5. After the dowry case file it has been seen that the suicide rate among man is 3 times more than women.
    6. According to IPC 498(A) it is mandatory to arrest husband,parents and all other relatives whom are residing with them.
    7. With an assumption and seeing the judgement rate ,court takes 2 yrs to its final verdict …so jail mein chakki peesing peesing n peesing ….bachna e (in) hasino (se ) :)……matlab munda to gaya .
    8. According to statistics..30000 thousand fake complaints lodge every ear ..n this figure is growing intrestingly.

    Number game —-

    1. National suicide rate = 11 ppl /100000
    2. males suicide rate ( married 30-44 yr age) = 508/100000
    3. females suicide rate( married 30-44 yrs) = 220/100000
    4. males suicide rate ( married 45-59 yr age) = 1812/100000
    5. females suicide rate ( married 45-59 yr age) = 550/100000
    6. divorced males the suicide rate is 164/100,000
    7. divorced females the suicide rate is 63/100,000
    8. suicide rate for separated men is about 167/100000
    9. suicide rate for separated women is about 41/100000

    To bhahiya ….wo strict law wala option to bhool hi jao……..

    main to ab bhi kehta hu ji ….court main kar lo shadi ..mandir main lo saat fere..dwory kya ……sare kharche hi khatam ho jayenge …aur dulha dulhan un paiso main switzerland ki sher kar aayenge 🙂

  73. “I think there is one more angle to dowry system, that is..girl’s share in father’s property.”

    @Shashwat,

    Your point is very logical. I believe, most of the parents spend money on their children’s education, if they do not then they should spend their property for their education. They must give equal importance to both(daughter/son).

    However, I personally feel that both should not expect any kind of property from the parents.

    rgds.

  74. shashwat said

    Even when parents sepnding money on children, they hv right in father’s property. Its a fact whether we accept it or not, how many vest their property to Govt?
    But wht we see, in 99% of cases son only enjoy their right.
    There should be some provision to give girls share at the time of her birth/marriage etc, whatever the property is. This will eliminate dowry sys.

  75. Akhilesh said

    it is dual standards of Indian society that dowry is still alive. when anyone marries his/her daughter he/she says he/she is against dowry but when the same person goes to marry his/her son he suddenly removes his masks and comes in true color. But thankfully this system is now very less in practice as now many girls are educated and slowly this system will go away.

  76. Kiran said

    Suggestion:

    -The dowry laws should be for both giving and taking of dowry. The punishment should be given to both giver and taker of dowry.

    -The minimum punishment should be increased from seven to ten.

  77. Kiran said

    @Shashwat

    Suggestion: Government should take the legal action on their Properties.

  78. Women should have the right to select their life partners under the proper guidance of parents. It will also help to destroy the dowry system from society.

  79. Vishal said

    Dowry is remnants of the caste systems that keeps this country’s level of development very low.

  80. Vishal said

    “Every girl parents want to marry their daugther with a high profile guy ….thats y they give as much money as they can …this is the reality and we have to accept this !! Its not good to blame guy every time.”

    @Lucky, don’t forget a high profile guys or guy’s parents demand dowry. This is a bitter truth that we must accept it!!

  81. T Shakunthala said

    If taking dowry is a crime, so is giving, says court.

    Noida magistrate orders action against bride’s family for giving dowry and misusing Act to settle personal scores.

    NEW DELHI: A Noida court has ordered police to book a woman and her parents for giving dowry. The chief judicial magistrate (CJM) of Noida ordered the police to register an FIR against Noida-based call centre employee Natasha Juyal and her parents under section 3 of the Dowry Prohibition Act (DPA) for giving dowry. The CJM also ordered action against police officers who refused to register Natasha’s husband Namit Juyal’s complaint.

    Giving or taking dowry is a criminal offence under Section 3 of the DPA with imprisonment. This is a rare case where the section was evoked against a woman and her family.

    Namit’s lawyer Pradeep Nawani argued that Natasha had not only accepted to giving dowry, but also submitted a list of stridhan that was not as per the DPA. Even her claim of huge wedding expense did not match her father’s financial capacity.

    According to Nawani, Natasha filed a complaint of dowry harassment in Noida’s sector-20 police station last year, saying Namit was given Rs10 lakh as dowry in 2005.

    The Noida police arrested Namit and packed him off to Dasna jail in UP. After getting bail, Namit sought information under RTI from the Noida police, seeking to know on what basis he was arrested.

    He was horrified to hear that he was arrested on the basis of his wife’s mere written complaint and verbal statement with no records to back her allegations. He then asked police to register a complaint against his wife and family for giving dowry.

    On refusal by the police, he approached court to get a complaint registered against his wife and her parents. He also sought contempt of court action against the police for failing to comply with a supreme court order, stipulating that refusing to register police complaint by a husband in a dowry case is tantamount to the contempt of court.

    http://www.dnaindia.com/report.asp?newsid=1211561

  82. Futpaitte said

    great site this rewa.wordpress.com brill to see you have what I am actually looking for here and this this post is exactly what I am interested in. I shall be pleased to become a regular visitor 🙂

  83. swathi said

    i laws demanding for an a/c hall….godd catering(or say expensive catering …and then accomodation, and asking the marriage 2 be conducted in so and so place city …is also a dowry?????or does it cover under the act

  84. nidhi said

    @swathi
    true de dnt call it a ‘dowry’ bt it is terribly sad stuff.dey sudnt demand nythng except wat gals parents do as per deir budget.

  85. nidhi said

    y guys parents ask hw much mney r dey willing to spnd in marriage?even who knws in future dey wil ask fr more?

  86. shailza said

    Undoubtedly, one of the best article l have come across on this precious topic. I quite agree with your conclusions and will eagerly look forward to your upcoming posts.

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