Turning the wheel…

…..when the blue water plays with the shore to tell something…..

Bachche man ke sachche…?

Posted by Rewa Smriti on June 14, 2008

Well, it was friday evening and I was listening old hindi songs. And then a very beautiful song was played. You all know that “बच्चे मन के सच्चे…” I enjoyed it but then the song made me think about the present children psychology. Are they still same ‘मन के सच्चे बच्चे’ or they are loosing their ‘innocence’?

Childhood is all about fun, entertainment and crazy things. Today if you ask children they will say that they want to be like Salman khan or better than Hirthik or like Kareena or Aishwarya etc bla bla and also they will say, they don’t want to be like their mom and dad! Perhaps that’s what first comes in their mind, when it comes to going to the school. Also they want to go to the gym because they want to play the role like ‘Shaktiman’ in real life!

I tell you a true story. When I was in gradutaion, one of my class friend used to teach a student. She was a student of class 4th in DPS. It was Feb and valentines day was about to come. When my friend was about to give her home work then she promptly said…”Teacher, day after tomorrow is valentine’s day and I will be busy with making cards or purchasing some gift for my boy friend, so I want leave tomorrow!” My friend was very curious of knowing about her boy friend so she asked the girl about her boy friend. Then my friend asked her to get permission from her mom. And after that she called her mom and said same thing. Her mom just smiled and told her that they would go for shopping in evening and asked my friend to grant leave on the next day!

My friend came back to hostel and shared that episode with us. For the first time I was shocked, but later I found now days it’s common in metro cities! If you see in metro cities, these school going girls and boys are having boy friend and girl friend from the first day of their life in the school.

It’s fine, but the worst part is where and on what way our children are going? Do they really study? If do not study, then what? In fact they are loosing their family values! Can’t we do something to change the situation? Of course we can do. We just need some patience, time, a friendly attitude towards them. Most important, we need to show “how much we care for them.” There are a lot among us who know how to turn a ‘no‘ into a ‘yes‘, because after all “बच्चे मन के सच्चे, उन्हें हम जिस साँचे में ढालेंगे वो ढल जाएँगे!”

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25 Responses to “Bachche man ke sachche…?”

  1. Shanta said

    When understanding comes, innocence goes and so childhood tunned into maturity. The examples you have given doesn’t indicates the detriment of innocence, they are only showing the reflection of their family and the current society. Ut is already proved that children are fast learner.
    Again age has no restriction on childhood. I aspire to be child and so restoring my innocence. More insight will come later.

  2. mehek said

    these days lill kids r more smarter than their age,or what we were at that age when we were small,in fast turning society,nuclear family,life on wheels and imitation of elder ones and some from tv,kids learn fast and try to do the same,i believe valentine is day of lve,not only for lovers but to express luv for family members to,lill girl seemed not much wrong ,but still somewhere comas and full stop’s r necessary sometimes.

  3. anmmch said

    Ya its the present society that makes the thing so. . Medically also the children are growing earlier and the various changes occur earlier. . . I remember my childhood. . . We were innocent. . But the children of these days are 10 steps ahead. . . These are in fact the reflection of the society.

    Abhay

  4. Hemant said

    I liked your words and the way you presented them. But I am not agree with you that by having boy friend or girl friend our children are loosing their values. I can never understand that we do not permit a girl to have boy friend who can be her husband but we want every girl to marry even though she is not or does not want to marry and wants to be independent.
    I think a girl should have her boy friend or a boy should have his girl friend from the day first because once they are together they think for each other and are not distracted or busy in making gossips and wasting time here and there. Every body says that it is easy to fall in love if you are not mature but tell me if it is realy a pure and honest love once you are matured and apply your full brain to calculate all permutations and combinations based on your needs only.
    We should make our children to be independent and responsible for their life because time is not same since last 100 years so obviously values will be changed. I think a girl is safe and more happy living with her boy friend rather than living alone in a metro city or very far from her home town.
    At last I would like to say that we all should also change our thinking according to change in time and needs.

  5. Anonymous said

    I do not agree with Shanta and Hemant.
    @shanta
    I dont agree that today children are more mature.It is true that they have more mental pressure and they are fast learner.But they are not mature at all.they learn everything at the age,when they should not actually learn that.
    A young girl should talk about only her freind.She should not make any difference between her girlfriend and boyfriend.And I dont think that the kind of relationship today’s children are having,doesnot reflect any kind of maturity among them.

  6. Anonymous said

    @hemant
    Hemant, i think you misunderstood the post.Here she is talking about a very young school girl(not a college girl or a girl staying alone in Metro) having a boyfriend.we should allow them to have a boy as their friend, but i dont think that we should give such a big responsibility of choosing a life partner as this age.
    And I dont agree that if we fall in love at a young age,only then our love is pure.i think its better to fall in love,once you become a bit mature,because only then you can judge a person and understand what you want from your lifepartner.
    We have heard a lot about teen age love and we know the fate also.because those are not love.Once you get mature,only then you recognize the love and of course whom to love.Otherwise incident like RK Puram DPS happens(perhaps you remeber-girl and her friend were caught on mobile doing oral sex).

  7. Shanta said

    @anonymous
    Please again read what have written. Certainly there are some children who used to mature enough before age. Mature enough means they start understanding intricacies of life. And I have seen myself.

    But Rewa didi has given example of such a child who is really innocent and not matured. In our times, Ma used to tell stories of Ramayana and Mahabharata, so we only knows Ram, Krishna. All walls are covered with picture of God only.

    Today the scene has changed. Everyone will ask who is your favorite hero, heroine and so they know only that.

    So when you lose your innocence then actually start maturing. So if you want to be happy in your life then develop innocence. A child laughs about 400 times a day. You count how often you give a smile and compare yourself with childhood.

  8. Shanta said

    @Hemant
    Your point seems good, but not fare. Our life has been divided in different sect after lots of thoughts and experiment and if you think over that compare the life style of western life style you will find its importance.

    Boys and girls should be friend but only friend and so proper care must be taken by society. Our education should be such that their mind not get corrupted. Actually we have shedding our all good qualities for imitating western lifestyle.

    So understand our culture in proper manner and follow that. There are many spiritual guru who are actually teaching these life style and in Mumbai hundreds of families are opting such life style and shedding all stress from their life and living a quality life.

  9. @Shanta,

    It is true children are innocent and I am not blaming them at all. But somewhere that innocence is missing. who is responsible for that?

    I am talking about teenage love, where they are running away with panwala or choukidar or rickshaw puller. What you have to say about this?

    @Hemant,

    you wrote: “I think a girl should have her boy friend or a boy should have his girl friend from the day first because once they are together they think for each other”

    First of all you didn’t get my point what I meant to say! Will you leave your child to search a life partner from the day first they enter the school or they come to the world? I am talking about school going children, not about a girl or a guy who is in college or living alone in metro cities. Do you think your child is mature enough to choose a life partner at the age of 4yrs? Please go through the post what I wrote exactly then you comment.

  10. When the child are in parent’s contact:
    Children are blank slates and home is the first school for them. And parents are the first teachers. What we speak, act and talk – they observe them and adapt. So the time they spent with parents almost totally lies in parents hands.

    When they are outside:
    In this information era, when children( kids to teens) spend considerable time with Television, internet and friends and mingle up – restricting them from informations pouring into is not feasible.

    Every human have got instinct to do wrong and right be it children or we adults ( so called grown up children ) . Thus a friendly way to deal with children is the best way and handling situations respecting their feelings. We the grown ups, should let them be open and at the same time inspire them for seeing things in a better way – something that is constant beyond “western” and “oriental” – something that is beyond “old scriptures” and “Google search results”.

    In the post’s context, I do wonder – Could that Ma have explained her daughter about the love between everything in this world ! She could have taught her daughter – love in some broader (more than just boy and girl) . Good kids understands the dedicated parents.

  11. mehek said

    u know rews its always a pleasure to read diff views on topics of ur blog,u definetly creat a very good enviornment for it,keep it sweety.

  12. suvimal said

    didi
    frndships ka matalb ko confind mat karo plz

    yeh bat alag hai ki boy frnd ke jagah sirf frnd hein kahana jayada uchit tha

    khair DOSTI to kabhi buri nahi hoti na to fir yeh masla culture ka nahi culture ko galat interpret karne ka lagta hai…

    that’s all

  13. Akhilesh Kumar said

    Children are always sweet no matter in which century they are. If they talk about any actor or sweet actress that is also there innocence. There is no problem if they make any boy friend or girl friend in there small age, they are innocent. they will be even not knowing the literal meaning of these words for them it is just good friend. And by the way girls and boys are compliment of each other and they will know the other one from small ages then it will be much more better for each of them. As this will ultimately lead to decrease in crime against fairer sex.

  14. Raj said

    An owkward situation encountered by one of my friends. He is my colleague in Jamnagar, Gujrat.

    Two days ego 11o’clock in the night his 4year old daughter told him; “Papa, i am going to sleep now. Do whatever you want to do with Mama.”

    This one of incident shows that how keenly the child has been observing the activities of her parents. And by observing their parents children tends to learn a lot of things. So, parents need to be responsible in their behavior when the child is around.

  15. Dear friends..
    “Kacchi Mati sa hota hai nanha bachha.” Jis roop me dhalo dhal jate hai wo. . . It depends how we rear our kids. . . First teacher is mother. . . Environment is provided by family . . . And they learn a lot from neighbours. . . . And depends how our society is !
    So if from first step,we are careful we may give the real path. . . to our innocent children.The parents should maintain the gravity. . How to behave with children according to age.And should watch their activity as well. . . What they do.Where they go. . . What they talk ?And should decorate their life with the fact. . despite to promote the averted path.
    So friends. . . Everything according to age is right.We all are have to take this responsibility.

    Abhay

  16. Nidhi said

    wat u r saying yar.khelne ke age main bachhe bf our gf ki baat kartey hain nd u say its gud nd dey r smart. u wud allow ur CHILD to do wat dey want wid out ur supervision?

    i can tell u watevr dey lern it has biological connections.dey behave better wen their minds r occupied.in delhi some children r regular smokers.parents dont hav time for their children.dey must understnd dat children also understand evrything very well.

  17. Ek Ajnabi said

    after all “बच्चे मन के सच्चे, उन्हें हम जिस साँचे में ढालेंगे वो ढल जाएँगे!”

    Very deep and meaningful thought. really bachche badon ke naksh-e
    kadmon per hi chalte hain, so we must be very careful to observe their
    actions and to keep them away from bad company like smoking, eating
    panmashala also watching erotica provoking TV programmes etc….

    Ek Ajnabi

  18. Brijesh said

    very apt subject Rewa,

    Todays children are loosing innocence, I am in constant fight with my two sisters, as I can see that their Kids are looking innocence and claim the “Smartness” in a certain age.

    However I mostly blame the parents for the same nature, as someone rightly quoted watching excess TV etc. is the real source of the problem

  19. ami said

    very correct rewa di

  20. I express my love and thanks to all the readers and commentators on this blog who are developing a good discussion environment via expressing their views.

    Coming to the topic, whatever chidren are doing that they learn from parents and their surroundings. If we see today’s parents, they give more stress on the student’s marks. I do agree marks are also important but the attention should be given to their all round development rather than sticking to marks!

    I saw some parents often miss to teach their children the human moral values. I had experience with delhi children, they always miss to respect their teachers. Tell me, from where they learn this?

  21. Amit said

    Nice article Rewa.

    You truely said,’we just need some patience, time, a friendly attitude towards them. Most important, we need to show how much we care for them.’

    Parents often fails to listen to their children because of their busy life. On the other hand children don’t have the habit of listening to one another. we need to remember that ‘listening to children’ is not only important, it is their right to be heard. In fact most of the time we may feel as though the child is not listening to us but they understand us better than anybody else.

    Also sometimes you have to be tough with them for their own good.

  22. Tarun said

    Bache Man ke Sache but not in all cities…..As they get more exposure they lost their ‘sachhapan’, Some of the information in India get molded into specific form, e.g. this valentine in India is repesented as it’s just for boy and girl friend. That what kids see and learn….Do Parents have time to tell or explain the things….may be that is one of the reason for ‘Bachhe not any more Man ke Sachhe’

    Nice write-up anyway.

  23. @Tarunji, well said! Thank you for visiting my blog and I welcome you here! Feeling pleasure to read your comment.

    @Amit, your points are genuine and thoughtful! Thank you.

    rgds.

  24. rohit said

    hheh rewa
    kia topic deya hai yaar, lage raho munna bhai ki tahra sab lage hai….or mazedaar baat hai ki sab ek track per theek hai, mehak se me agree karta hu… uski fist post se. jo is per hai. yaar waise bhi bf or gf metro city me 90’s se change ho raha tha.. bache mature hai ki nahi,,,to jara socho..aaj ke jamene me bacha sikhega kaha se…ghar se yaar bahar se, metro city me to joint family to hum bhi nahi rahe kabhi,, haa guest aate they or hume sabko namsete pranaam karte they…per ab to guest bhi nahi aate….actully islye ki ab koi guest ko ghar per jayeda nahi like kerta balik bahar jaaker weekend bana like karta hai,…so bacha jo dekhta hai so sikhta hai…. haa kuch kuch home me dada dadi hote ho to bacha kuch sikh leta hai….mera ek lekh tha … online karooga jaldi
    rohit

    rohit

  25. Nidhi said

    Children’s pocket money rose by 6 times in 10 yrs: Assocham

    hav a look

    http://www.rediff.com/money/2008/apr/18asso.htm

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