Turning the wheel…

…..when the blue water plays with the shore to tell something…..

कुछ बातें दबी है !

Posted by Rewa Smriti on April 13, 2008

शब्दों में उलझ
बिखरती जा रही हूँ,
बात जो दिल में दबी है
निकल नहीं पा रही,
इतना सोच, कि
तुमसे कुछ कहना है,
वक़्त के आगोश में
ख़ामोश लिपटी,
ख़ुद को, भूली जा रही!

नासमझ हूँ
हर बार सोचती
इसबार कह दूँ,
पर, कुछ हर बार
हो ही जाता है,
और, भावनाएँ मेरी
दिल में ही खो कर,
चुप्पी में बदल जाती है!

{written on 24/02/2008}

Advertisements

25 Responses to “कुछ बातें दबी है !”

  1. रचना said

    sunder kavita sunder shabd chunaav

  2. shubh said

    Achhi Kavita hai. Baten dabi rahe aur is-se pahle ki samay ke gart me chala jaye, us-se pahle kah dena hi acha hai.

  3. mehek said

    इतना सोच, कि
    तुमसे कुछ कहना है,
    वक़्त के आगोश में
    ख़ामोश लिपटी,
    ख़ुद को, भूली जा रही!
    bahut khubsurat shabd hai rews,kabhihum kuch kehna chah kar bhi baat dab hi jati hai dil mein,magar keh dena shayad uchit ho.

  4. Nidhi said

    बात जो दिल में दबी है
    निकल नहीं पा रही,
    इतना सोच, कि
    तुमसे कुछ कहना है,

    ATI SUNDAR!!!!
    ab bol bhi do…..deewane tere naam ke khade hain dil thaam ke. 🙂

    Kanjoos ki zindagi kya jina,
    kabhi meri trah jiya karo,
    Rooz mere SMS padkar sharam nahi aati,
    Kabhi kud bhi Sms kiya karo. 😛

  5. Jitender Singh said

    शब्दों में उलझ
    बिखरती जा रही हूँ,
    बात जो दिल में दबी है
    निकल नहीं पा रही,
    इतना सोच, कि
    तुमसे कुछ कहना है,
    वक़्त के आगोश में
    ख़ामोश लिपटी,
    ख़ुद को, भूली जा रही!

    नासमझ हूँ
    हर बार सोचती
    इसबार कह दूँ,
    पर, कुछ हर बार
    हो ही जाता है,
    और, भावनाएँ मेरी
    दिल में ही खो कर,
    चुप्पी में बदल जाती है…!

    great bahut senti poem hai Rewa u really write very well per zara ye bhi bata do ye dil ki baat kiske liye dabi hai …hehe just kidding keep on going ….cheers

    regds

    Jitender Singh

  6. Anupam Jha said

    Hello? what happened? “The greatest pain that comes from love, Is caring for someone without telling him”.So go out and trim the feeling of shyness or whatsoever and bring that Palash real for urself. Note: agar aisa kuch hai tab warna.u know ….keep blogging!! There was Mahadevi Verma,then there is Rewa Smriti!

  7. Hi Rachnaji, thank you for commenting and appreciating the poem.

    Hi Shubh, hmmm….waqt se pahle koi kaam nahi karna chahiye, waise bataungi to tab jab kuch bolne ko ho.

    Hi Mehek, aap bilkul sahi kah rahi hein lekin baat agar koi dil mein hogi to waqt rahte pakka bol dungi.

    @Nidhi, bahut bahut shukriya aapke pyare aur anmol suggestion ke liye. Aajkal in deewano ka koi bharosa nahi baba wo to aate jate rahte hein. 😆 😉 Are main kanzoos nahi hun bahanji, main call kar lungi but sms karna boring lagta hai.

  8. visarpi said

    m speechless!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  9. :) said

    ek baar …bas ek baar … kaha to hota 🙂

  10. Tarun said

    kuch kehne ke liye kabhi shabdo ki zaroorat nahi hoti ..
    tum band hotho se kuch kaho, woh khamoshi ko sun lenge ..

    nice poem
    -tarun

  11. Amit said

    वक़्त के आगोश में
    ख़ामोश लिपटी,
    ख़ुद को, भूली जा रही!

    Very beautiful poem!

  12. Hi Jitender, shukriya for your appreciating comment! Waise dil ki baat to dil hi jane…waise koi baaten dabi hui nahi hai.

    Hi Anupam, thank you for such appreciating words. I am not in pain at all. Dil mein aisa kuch ho tab to bolungi. 🙂 Anyway, really you never know when your words of appreciation will make a person’s day. Mahadevi verma was a great devotional poetess….kavita jagat mein unki baat hi anokhi thee, hai, aur rahengi. By the way she is my favourite lady poetess.

    rgds.

  13. Tanu Shree said

    lovely lovely lovely lovely…….
    kya kahu is rachna ke baare me dil se nilkle in alfaazon ki taarif jintni karu kam hogi…… Lovely !!!
    Awesome….. beautiful….
    is poem me jo flow hai dil ki baat ka n jo majboori si dikahyi de rahi hai ..use padh k har kisi ko aisa hi feel hota hoga ..ki yes aisa kabhi mere saath hua tha!!

    Wonderful creation di …

    Luv u !!

  14. Ek Ajnabi said

    और, भावनाएँ मेरी
    दिल में ही खो कर,
    चुप्पी में बदल जाती है!
    bahut khub

    bhawnaon ko dil mein kab tak chupa ke rakhiyega
    bojh ye dil pe kab tak akele uthaaye rakhiyega
    waqt-e-ruksat aa gaya hai ki khyaal rakhiyega
    haal-e-dil keh hi daalo ab raaz na rakhiyega

    Ye ishq nehi aasan

    Keep Smiling Always

    Ek Ajnabi

  15. @visarpi, thanks shweta for liking my poem.

    @smily, thnx for your comment…jab jise kahna hoga kah dungi…aap tension na len.

    @Tarun, shukriya for your kind words…beautiful lines. In fact silence speaks louder than words.

    @Amit, thanks for praising my poem.

  16. shubhashishpandey said

    chhoti lekin bahut sunder rachna, kahte hain na gaagar me saagar bhar diya

  17. नासमझ हूँ
    हर बार सोचती
    इसबार कह दूँ,

    …sari zindgi ka fasaana….

  18. बहुत खूबसूरत रचना है…
    कहीं कुछ अटक सा रहा है लय में अगर आप अन्यथा न लें तो बताना चाहूँगी…

    शब्दों में उलझ
    बिखरती जा रही हूँ,
    बात जो दिल में दबी है
    कह नहीं पा रही हूँ,
    बात यही इतनी सी,
    कि तुमसे कुछ कहना है,
    वक़्त के आगोश में
    ख़ामोश लिपटी,
    ख़ुद को भूली जा रही हूँ!

    नासमझ मैं
    हर बार सोचती हूँ,
    इसबार कह डालूँ,
    मगर-
    हर बार रह जाती है
    मेरी भावनाएँ
    खामोश
    दिल में ही खो कर,
    बदल जाती है
    चुप्पी में…

    आपकी भावनाओं की मै कद्र करती हूँ रचना में भाव गहरे है…मुझे बहुत पसंद आई इसीलिये थौड़ा परिवर्तन करने लग गई…:)
    सुनीता शानू

  19. Hi Sunitaji,

    Main to aapki abhari hun jo aapne mujhe suggestion diya. Really thank you so much to you.

    कह नहीं पा रही हूँ,
    बात यही इतनी सी,- par, baat itni si nahi hai…..dil mein dabi baaten bahut gahri hoti hai. Jo dabi hoti hai/dabi hai use kahne ki jarrurat nahi hoti, wo naturally khud nikalta hai aur yahan nikal nahi pa raha…This is wat the theme of poem. Aapne jo panktiyan edit ki hai yeh mere poem ki bhavna ko kam kare de rahi hai. Sunitaji, main 1st para mein koi change na karte hue poem mein us bhavnaon ko sanjokar rakhna chahungi.

    Actually maine bhi ‘नासमझ मैं’ lkha tha pahle but later I changed it kyunki mujhe mahsoos hua मैं pure poem mein hi chupa hua hai.

    बदल जाती है
    चुप्पी में……Mere friends ko original version padhne mein jyada achhi lagi isliye main originality ko na change karte huye use yun hi rahne dena pasand karungi.

    मेरी भावनाएँ
    खामोश….isme mere bhav jo main kahna chah rahi hun wo udit nahi ho raha hai, isliye yahan main koi changes nahi kar rahi hun.

    So, I am leaving my poem as it is without making any changes there.Aapko bahut bahut dhanyawad for suggestion. Waise mere do editors hein Amit and Sonu but ye dono name ke editors hein kaam ke nahi 😉

    rgds.

    Note: I always welcome and respect if someone gives me some constructive critisicm along with some suggestions.

  20. Jitender Singh said

    “Amit and Sonu but ye dono name ke editors hein kaam ke nahi” 😉

    Are mere dost mere mitr mere sakha ..aise to humari dhajjian na udaao sab ke saamne …haddd hai baba

    rgds

    Jitender Singh

  21. Nidhi said

    I personally feel dat aftr u write a poem it is done.never change anything.just don’t let your poems be ordinary. pls let your mind run free.

  22. @Tanu, lovely lovely lovely betu ka lovely comment padhkar maza aa gaya. you know after reading your comment I laughed a lot. Itna sara lovely padhkar tumhara lovely face with full smile dikh raha hai.

    @Ek Ajnabi, shukriya for ur comment. Achhi poem hai, waise raaz ko raaz hi rakhungi gar koi raaz hoga to otherwise no raaz.

    @Shubhashish, welcome to my blogworld and really very much thank you for writing such lovly words here.

    @Anurag, sach kahun to zandagi khud mein hi ek fasana hai!

    @Jitender, Dhajjiyan! Sonu, kisne udaya? Yeh socho ki maine udne se bacha liya. Ab bhi waqt hai sambhal jao.

    @Nidhi, jo aagya mohtarma, aise hi karungi. Don’t worry I will keep my mind run freely.

  23. bahut sundar

    New Post :
    Jaane Tu Ya Jaane Na … Rocks

  24. @Rohit Tripathi, shukriya for appreciating the poem!

  25. Palash Dabi said

    Rock on

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

 
%d bloggers like this: